Kyle's Big Mistake
by It'sAllGooeyAndSticky
Summary: Kyle Broflovski has always been the weaker one. His friends and family will go to no ends to protect him. Thinking he will be fine on his own, he does the unthinkable. Sequel to People Don't Really Give a Damn
1. Departure

**Author's Note:**

So, this started out as me venting my frustration on the boys. College sucks, and life in general right now is treating me like it hates me. So, I thought, why not write this. Let me know if it makes sense, if it's too exaggerated, or if it's actually qualified to be a fic. Make sure you have time to read, because this is going to be a long one. Oh, and to understand why Kenny gets so upset, you have to read, _People Don't Really Give a Damn_.

**DISCLAIMER:**

The author does not own any of these characters, or the cartoon in question. These all belong to Matt Stone and Trey Parker. This story contains swearing, and graphic descriptions of suicide. Contains sexually explicit material. Be warned.

_Kyle's Big Mistake_

**Departure**

"I'm really sorry, Kenny." he said as my head started to spin. "I'm really sorry about this. It's something I have to do."

"Why?" I asked having trouble with my words. "Why, Kyle? Why? Is it that bad being with me, that you have to fuckin' do…?" I couldn't go on.

"Kenny, you protect too much. You make me feel weak, you make me feel hopeless all the time." he confessed.

"Because of me, your ass is safe!" I shot bitterly through the pain in my throat. "Because of me, Cartman hasn't been able to kill you or fuck you up like he's wanted to! Kyle, I hate to say this, but I'm the one who should get all the credit. Without me, you're nothing! You're too small, too weak, too fragile!" I yelled. "I am…" I didn't even know what to say at this point. My head hurt, my throat was burning, and my vision was blurring at the edges. How?

"I'm sorry, Kenny." he said simply. "Really. I am."

He didn't look it. He looked like he was calm, and cool, and collected. He looked okay. He looked, excited! Hell, he looked, ready for the world.

It was the first day of summer, and we'd just graduated. Kyle stood in my line of vision, looking at me with those green eyes that I had gotten so used to seeing at my side for the last, well, eternity. He was leaving, tomorrow. Leaving for NYU. I'm so glad that two days before we were making love so passionately, and everything was in order. I'm so fucking glad that two days ago, I thought I'd be lying in the same position today with my red head in my arms. I'm so fucking glad that he chose this time to tell me, that tomorrow he was to fly off on a plane for NYU. Why?

"Then, let me-."

"No. I've already made up my mind, Kenny. You can not come with me." he said simply. "You and I are through."

I stared at him for what felt like six hours, when really it was thirty seconds. He gave me a bright smile, and turned.

"Kyle, what?" I asked almost having trouble again. "What do you want me to do? Kyle, you are everything to me! You are my whole world, Kyle! I've been attached to you practically since we were babies, and now that my dream has come true, now that I told you how I felt, and you told me that you knew about me…. I cried with you, Kyle!" I pleaded. "I cried with you! You held me and told me, that day I fell apart, that everything was going to be okay! You held me, and told me! Kyle?" I gasped.

"Look, Kenny, you'll find someone else." he said simply. "You'll find someone that loves you way more than I can. It's not that I don't love you, it's just, I feel like this is something I have to do. I have to go find out if I can fend for myself. If I can fight off my own battles." he said simply. "I still love you, and maybe when I get back, if I get back, we can pick up where we-."

"No!" I shouted angrily. "Kyle, you can't just up and leave, and then come back when your little Jew Princess ass feels like!"

I knew as soon as my mouth expelled those words, I'd fucked up. That was something Cartman always taunted him with. The Jew Princess and his little poor fag, he called us when he found out we were going out. He went white, and ran over to me.

"I hate you, Kenny McCormick!" he yelled slapping me full across the face and punching my nose. "Never fucking call me that!" he shouted as he turned on his heel and left.


	2. Shock

**Shock**

The pain was unbearable. My cheek was bloody, and my nose was probably broken. But that wasn't it. No. The pain of just losing my other half was amazingly terrible. Terrifying. I felt like killing myself. Yet, what would that do? Killing myself would do nothing. Because I always, always, ended up coming back. I felt the pain in my nose, and the stinging in my face from his slap. I breathed through my mouth as I got up, and walked out of my room, and into my bathroom. I quickly washed my face, and soon, the pain faded from my nose. The blood still seemed to be seeping out of the cut on my cheek. Kyle had left it completely red, and had made a deep gash across my face. I didn't know what, or how to deal with this. I felt strange.

Kyle had been the one who had broken my spell. When I fell prey to emotional breakdowns at his house the very first time, I told him that I was immortal. He believed me, and he from then on, remembered when I died, and how I died. That was not the only thing. Afterward, Stan, Wendy, and Ike seemed to know as well. I never brought it up with them, because I didn't know how to approach a subject like that. What was I gonna do? Go ask them each in turn, "Hey, do you guys realize that when I die, I come back every time?"?

I felt so terrifying. I felt so fucking low. I have never in my life felt this low as I do now. Maybe, it was just a dream. Maybe, it was all a joke. Maybe if I went to sleep tomorrow I'd wake up in his arms, or wake up with something else that didn't resemble this crap. Who am I kidding?

The next day, I woke up and headed straight for Stan's place. It was around ten in the morning, and I bet Stan was at home with a big hang over. Hopefully that party hadn't been that big.

"Hey, Kenny." Stan said opening his door. He was dressed in a tight pair of denim shorts, and no shirt. He looked like he'd just opened his eyes. "Come in." he said pulling open his door a little wider and letting me in. "Dude, you look like hell. What happened?" he asked.

"Kyle." I said softly. "Kyle… broke up with me." I said as the realization hit me.

"Kyle?" Stan asked. "Kyle? No! He was high! He was drunk! Wendy!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.

"Dude, Wendy's already here?" I asked confused. "Did your mom and dad let her stay over?"

"No. She came a little while ago, and said she was gonna make breakfast." he yawned. "Sorry, Ken. I think you should talk to her about this. I'm really not that good with this kind of thing. I don't know what to say." he muttered blushing a little. "Sorry."

"What, Stan?" she asked as she walked into the living room. "Oh, hey Kenny!" she said smiling. "Oh!" she gasped as she spotted my face. "Hey, Kenny." she said in a much more serious tone. "Whoa…. Stan… honey… go…." Wendy was having trouble with this. "Go get ready for the day. Change out of that ugly attire." she suggested.

"I could just go change my outfit." he muttered.

"Yeah." Wendy said almost wanting to laugh at the Raven's stupidity. "Why don't you go do that." she coaxed.

"See you guys in a bit. I'm jumping into the shower." he said as he left.

"What happened, Ken?" she asked gently as she sat down beside me.

"Kyle," I said as a strange cold crept over me. "Kyle, left me. Literally, left me." I said as tears filled my eyes. "Wendy…?" I couldn't speak.

"But he loves you!" she gasped. "Kenny, you and Kyle have been glued to the hip even before you told him how you feel!" she gasped becoming angry. "Kenny, he loved you! How? What did you do?" she asked confused. "No!" she said gasping. "No! Tell me what happened?" she gasped.

I sat, and told. I had trouble speaking as I tried to hold myself. I know you're thinking, 'Kenny, how uncharacteristically not you.' But you have no idea how bad I felt. How shocked, hollow, empty, and unreal I felt at the time. I felt like I wanted to die. I literally lost my other half. The boy I had strived to protect for the better part of nine fucking years. Since I realized Cartman was really obsessed on killing him. He was truly bent on harming the little Semite.

"No… way. No… way!" Wendy said when I finished. "Stanley!" she yelled as the bathroom door opened on the upstairs landing. "Stanley, get down here!" she yelled at the top of her lungs.

Stan came running down the stairs, still no shirt on. He slid down the banister and came over to us.

"Did Kyle Broflovski ever tell you that he was headed away to College, the moment graduation was over, practically?" she asked.

"No! No, he didn't! Why?" he asked.

Wendy told him. After that, we called him, and discovered his phone was disconnected. Holy shit, the guy had already disconnected his phone. I grabbed the IPhone that he'd given me, and I dialed Ike.

"Hello?" Ike's voice was whispery, and sounded terrible.

"Ike, are you okay?" I asked. "Where are you?"

"At… my… place." he said slowly. "Mom and dad are working."

"Are you okay?" I asked confused.

"No, Kenny. I think I lost something." he breathed. "I think my heart just broke, Kenny. This emotion is so new to me, I don't know what to call it. And this is me, you're speaking to." he gasped.

"I'm coming over there, Ike." I said simply. "Stan, Wendy and I are going over there."

"No." he choked out. "Just you. Only, you." he gasped. "That would be too many people for me to deal with right now."

I stared at the phone as Ike hung up. I stared at the people around me. Both of them stared back.

"What?" Wendy asked. "It sounds like Ike didn't know." she whispered.

"I'll be back, you guys." I whispered as my body went numb. I had to set aside my own emotions right now. I had to go help my step brother. Because that's what he was, just as he said once. I was his, "Sort of step brother thing."


	3. Revelation

**Revelation**

The doorbell rang, and I quickly unlocked the door and opened it. Kenny stood on the for once bare stoop. For now, anyway, it wasn't covered in crystalline flakes of snow. He looked calm, and composed, but I knew he'd been grieving as well. He had the signs. His face was flushed, and his eyes were slowly returning to normal. He looked a little numb, actually. As if he was having trouble accepting that this was happening. I pulled the door open, and I let him in quickly. He looked like he wanted to just die. Just like I felt.

"So I take it you didn't know either?" I asked confused as we both sat down on the couch.

"No." he whispered softly. "I didn't know. Who did?" he asked confused. "Stan didn't, Wendy didn't." he whispered sadly. "Tell me, Ike." he questioned. "What happened?"

I had been sitting at my desk reading through Great Expectations for about the sixth time. I really did like that book. Kyle had knocked on my door, and asked me if I could go down stairs with him. He said he had something to tell us all, and wanted me to be there. To be there when he told us what was going to happen soon. I went down, and saw mom and dad gathered in the living room.

"Tell us, Bubula!" my mom said sweetly. "Tell us what you seem so excited about!" she said smiling.

"I leave tomorrow." he announced.

"What what what?" mom had yelled at the top of her lungs. "Kyle, what in the woyold aw you talking about, buby?" she asked confused. "What? Where?"

"I enrolled in summer term for NYU, and the expectations are, that I be there in three days." he said simply. "I'm using my college fund that you guys gave me to pay for the first term. I have over two million in there, so it should be enough. Dad you were right. I've had it saved up since I was born, when you guys gave it to me. Look how much I have now." he said smiling. "I'm going to study law, just like dad." he said simply.

"Kyle, why?" my mom had asked as tears filled my eyes. "Why didn't you tell us what was going on, Buby?" she asked.

"Because this isn't about telling you what's going on. If I would've told you, you guys would've stopped me. Now, you can't. The flight is booked, the dorm space is booked, everything is settled. Tuition's been paid, and no refund." he said simply.

"Kyle, why?" mom had asked confused. "What about Kenny?" she asked a little frightened. "Have you told him? Is he going with you?"

"Kenny is nothing but a poor selfish piece of shit, that needs to go kill himself, and stay dead." Kyle had said becoming angry. "He can just go to hell." he said raising a bloody fist.

Mom and I had tried, along with a silent almost non-resistant dad, to talk him back into not leaving us. We loved him so much, and when we pictured Kyle leaving, we didn't picture it like this. Dad had cried, mom had cried, and of course, I had cried. It wasn't bad enough that he told us late notice, but he got angry and wouldn't have it when we tried to talk him out of it. He hated to hear what we had to say, going as far as to say that maybe being a Jew was the worst thing in the world, if his stupid Jewish parents were going to hold him back with their shelter, and their over protective attitudes. He told mom and dad they could shove their bullshit up their ass. His flight had taken off early in the morning, at around six in the morning, and he hadn't even woken us to say goodbye. He left at four thirty in the morning, to the Denver airport. Called a taxi.

"Kyle, you can't do this." I said simply before I went to bed that night. "You just can't do this to us, Kyle. At least promise to stay in touch."

"Ike, I'm leaving so I won't have to stay in touch." he growled. "I hate all of you. You are all so over protective of me. Starting with Kenny the fag McCormick. Always thinking that you think you have my best interests at heart. You guys need to let me breathe more." he said bitterly.

"Kenny's protecting you from Cartman the glob!" I shouted. "Remember what happened two weeks ago! Kenny saved your ass… again! For, like the sixth time in your life!" I yelled as my eyes streamed. "And you're gonna leave just because you feel over crowded?" I asked.

"And that's what happened." I sobbed as I sat there telling him the events of last night.

"So, Kyle really said that about me?" Kenny said softly. "Really?"

"Kenny?" I whispered as my head throbbed with pain. "My brother is gone! Worst of all no one gets why the whole family is so fucking upset!" I moaned as tears filled my sore eyes. "Kenny, he didn't even say bye."

"Ike, I'm so sorry." Kenny said sadly. "I just talked with Stan and Wendy. They didn't know a thing." he said softly. "I'm sorry!" he gasped.

"What am I supposed to do!" I gasped. "Kenny, that's my brother! My vulnerable, sweet, at times stupid brother!" I sobbed. "And has anyone seen Cartman fatass?"


	4. Freedom

**Freedom**

I got off the plane six hours later. I don't know quite how I felt, but I couldn't take time to examine my emotions. I was home free. I was among people more like myself. Maybe even grown folk my age who were more like Ike. Observant, intellectual, and fucking geniuses. I felt quite ready to take on the world. NYU was going to be the greatest thing I ever picked up and did for myself. So why is it that I feel lopsided, sort of? Almost like something's missing?

I did what I was supposed to do for the next couple of days. I got ready to start term, which would start the week after this one. I still felt the beat of the music at Clyde's place the last party I had attended. It seemed to line my insides and help my alert state of mind. I found myself diligently getting ready for what I knew I had to reach so bad. My freedom from all the people that held me back. From all the people that vowed nothing would ever happen to me. From myself. It's something that would occur to me four years down the road. Right now, my stupid inferior eighteen year old self couldn't take time to process that, though.

As I said before, the next three days were full of newfound freedom. They were full of exploring alone, as I needed to find my way around campus. NYU was big enough, I guess. The campus maps located conveniently around the place were useful. I found my dorm, I found my classes quick, and easy. Kyle Broflovski was no fool.

Something else came to me by night, though. I fell into bed restless, and ladened with thought. Questions littered my head, like a writer's desk after he has created several manuscripts and littered his desk with the writing he deems crappy. Questions that I dare think about only in the gloom of the night. By the light of a single candle on my desk.

Why had I made this decision in the spur of the moment? Why had I chosen to leave? Was what I told Kenny really true? Or Ike, or mom and dad? Had I really felt tied down by all that loved me and only wanted what was best for me? I never pictured my going away this way before. Sure, I did picture them all sad, and crying. But I also pictured myself among the weeping. Yet, when I left, I did not shed tears. I felt somehow light, and relieved. I felt excited at the prospect of finding myself at a place like NYU. And yet, now, settled into my soft clean linens, I felt oddly plagued by questions. By memories. By day time, I could simply push those aside. But in my quarters, in the darkness, I couldn't escape. My dreams would either present themselves to me, or the memories of my angry parents and broken boyfriend would come back into my mind's eye. Yet, even at the sight of a blood soaked red faced Kenny, I felt content. Even at the sight of my dream Ike, who usually showed himself crying, and pleading for my return, I felt something that wasn't remotely close to sadness. But that didn't matter. I would see them again. It's not as if anything could happen to make them disappear off the face of this earth. My parents were not old, and still had a long way to go. My brother wasn't even started with his life yet. What could go wrong?

I hadn't even said goodbye to my super best friend, Stan. Stan. I never even told him what I was planning. Back in Freshman year, Wendy and I shared similar interests. We both fantasized about going to NYU together. Getting our degrees and coming back to South Park after all was done. But now that I think about it, what would one do in South Park after all was done? The town was small, and almost jobless. Aside from the few jobs at auto shops or convenient stores. Or even True Value. No, I think I will probably never set foot in that town again. Why doesn't this make me feel a little strange? Sad, even?


	5. Dreams

**Dreams**

I lay on the bed holding a sleeping Kenny. His eyes were closed, and there was a peaceful smile on his lips. I smiled to myself as I looked at his beautiful face. In the moon light, I could see his gleaming golden hair. I leaned into him a little and brushed my lips to his. Kenny was mine. He would always be. I gasped as my dream switched.

I was lying in my room, and a draft was playing over my face. Wait a minute, a draft? I heard a loud thudding of footsteps, and a sound of ripping clothing. I felt warm liquid running down into my bed sheets. I heard a lot of commotion, and screaming. Then, a very familiar voice.

Kyle!" Mysterion had sobbed. "Kyle, we'll get you to a hospital! I swear it, Kyle! You'll be okay! Please, be okay!" he sobbed, face in one hand, and my hand in his other. "Help!" he yelled. "Please, Kyle! Don't die on me! I need you!" he moaned. "You're my best friend! Please, be okay!"

That incident had landed me in the hospital for three months. Cartman had almost succeeded in ripping my stomach to shreds. Through it all Kenny, Stan and Ike had been there with me, and so had mom and dad. The scene switched again.

"Kyle! You can't just up and leave, and come back whenever your little Jew Princess ass feels like!" Kenny shouted.

I ran forward, and brought my hand slamming across his face. My hand burned, but I felt blood on my palm. I saw a cut on Kenny's face start to bleed, and I quickly punched him while he was still surprised. My blood was boiling in me.

"I hate you, Kenny McCormick! Don't ever call me that!"

That was how my life went on. For the next four and a half years, which was how long it took me to get my master's in law. Dreams like these would always haunt me. Dreams of me and Kenny, lying perfectly together. Dreams of the first time he showed me what new found pleasures awaited us both. There were those dreams that were not so vivid. And then, there were those that were so clear, smells were lingering even after I woke. Sometimes, I'd smell the cheap cologne and cigarettes in my own sheets as I lay on my bed after awaking from a dream. I tried to shove my emotions aside. I tried to be strong.


	6. Pain

**Pain**

The couple came home from work early that afternoon. They knew what awaited them as soon as they spotted each other when the man picked up his wife from her work place. Her eyes were dull, and she looked like she'd been crying. Her makeup smeared, and her eyes red. The man didn't look much better, himself. His eyes were blood shot, and his face set into a disbelieving expression. As if it had all been too much to take in. He watched through a haze as his wife climbed into the car.

"How was your day, love?" he asked sadly.

"I'm not sure." she said simply as she took one of his hands. "Is it really true?" she asked.

"Yes, dear. I called to check on Ike. He was doing okay."

"He disconnected his phone, Gerald!" she sobbed as tears fell from her face and he drove on. "I can't call my baby boy anymore!"

"Things will be okay, Sheila." he said trying not to break down himself. "Kyle will call soon."

That's how the next week and a half went. Kyle would call soon. Stan, Wendy, Kenny, and Ike wondered. Not many people seemed to know that Kyle Broflovski was even missing. Not many seemed to care. But the difference in mood was noticeable in one person.

"I just wanted to let you know, that I really appreciated your hospitality. I appreciated your understanding of the situation, and I really am glad I came here."

"Don't woyee, Ken." Sheila said taking his hand. "It was nothing. After all, you aw like pawt of the famly." she said smiling simply at him.

"Thank you, Mrs. Brof." he said softly. "I'm very sorry about the current situation. If I knew… where… he…." Kenny couldn't go on, and he saw the sullen expressions on his second family's faces.

"He'll call." Ike said for what felt like the millionth time. "He usually calls."

The weeks passed by, and felt all blurred together. Ike, Stan, and Kenny seemed to be feeling the same way, yet with varying degrees of the feeling. Ike found he could barely stand to think about his brother without shedding at least a few tears. Stan found himself losing interest in anything that reminded him remotely of Kyle. Kenny? He was a different story.

Everything started to fall apart for the blonde as he literally sat wasting away. The boy felt a pain like no other that he had ever felt in his life. He felt, lost.

"Kenny, it's been two weeks." a very familiar voice said gently as she came walking into his room. "Don't you think it's time to let it go, and get yourself together?" she asked. "Are you listening?"

"I don't feel like talking." Kenny droned sadly.

"It's not a choice, Kenneth." she said simply. "At least go get yourself a job. Go work with Kellso at the convenient store." she suggested. "Do something with yourself if you're gonna be alive."

"That's it, Karen. I don't wanna be alive." he said softly as tears fell from his face. "I feel empty, Karen. I feel lost. I feel torn. My heart is literally broken. How?"

"Kenny, things will be okay. All right? There are so many girls and guys out there that would love to be dangling off the side of Mysterion's arm. All right? Go find someone to distract you! Go out, and meet new people." she suggested.

"I don't want new people, I want Kyle!" Kenny yelled surprising his sister .

"Well, fine, Kenny!" she yelled bitterly back. "You can just sit here, and starve yourself to death, bro! Just remember, Satan laughs last."

And she turned and she left. The boy could starve himself as much as he wanted. He could dehydrate himself as much, too. But it was all for naught. The boy with the golden hair would wake in his bed the next morning. Even if he did manage to pass away. That was his gift from whatever higher power was out there, good or evil. He would wake in his bed, every time he was led away by the Grim Reaper. But Karen's efforts were not all for nothing. She was not the only one of her family members that tried her best.

"Kenny, would you like a plate of food?" Karen asked softly a couple hours afterward. "I can bring you something." she said simply.

"No, Karen. I'm okay." he muttered sadly as he looked at his glow in the dark clock.

Kenny didn't remember anything. He just felt broken, and numb all at once. The shock of the situation had faded away, and now, he felt crushed. The boy packed up almost half of his room, and put everything into one big trunk. The wedding trunk that Bonnie McCormick had used to bring her things into the house after her marriage to Kevin. He packed all his things away, and headed to Stan's place. Soon, the Raven was at his side.

"What?" he gasped. "What do you want me to do with this?" he asked.

"Burn it all." Kenny said tonelessly. "Just set fire to it. I'm leaving." he muttered.

"Wait, what's in here!" But it was too late. Kenny had turned on his heel, and was gone.

"What the hell?" Stan gasped as he dragged the trunk into his house.

He opened the trunk, and saw a bunch of things. A clock radio, an IPhone, a bunch of posters, and a few outfits. Then, he realized. Kyle had given him all this stuff. It was all the things that reminded Kenny remotely of Kyle. What? And he wanted Stan to burn it? Stan decided against it, and dragged all the belongings up to his attic. He would hold them for when the time came.

**Author's note:**

Can anyone guess Where Kellso is from?


	7. Alone

**Alone**

Two whole years had gone by since I had packed up and left. Two years full of excitement, exploration, and wisdom. There was nothing like pouring through volumes of books, trying to get the answer for one of the tons of questions the instructors had us all answer. Nothing like the feeling of acquiring some new piece of information, while on a quest to find something remotely interesting to include in your seven page paper that was due two weeks down the line. I felt light, calm, I felt great about my life for now. But there was something missing.

Whether because of fear that I would be chastised, or because of fear that I would have a ton of emotions hit me the moment I did it, I had not bothered to keep in touch with anyone. Anyone at all. Not my mom and dad, not Ike, not my best friend Stan. I don't know why. I felt like if I did, something terrible would happen. The perfect life that I'd been leading up to now, would fall apart. Yet, I needed to know if everything was okay. My undying curiosity drove me to it. That is why, my life fell completely apart when the next pieces of news hit me like rocks when Jesus got stoned.

I looked through my IPhone, and found the first contact. My mom's cell phone number. I called, but at the first ring, I got an operator message. I called dad, but at the first ring, I got the same thing. I called my house, but nothing. I called Ike.

"Hello?" asked a man.

"Is Ike there?" I asked confused.

"You've got the wrong number." he said simply.

"What?" I gasped. "No, no I don't. Ike?" But the man hung up.

I called Stan. Nothing. I called Wendy, and nothing at all. Had they all changed their numbers? There was one person left to try. I quickly clicked on his contact, and waited for the phone to ring.

"Hello?" said a very staticy voice. "You have reached a number that is no longer in service."

I hung up and felt the stinging of tears in my eyes. He had changed his number. He was gone. They all were. They had left me. My phone was full of contacts, all of which were useless if their owners weren't even the right ones.

There was a jingling sound, and a key was thrust into my door. Soon, the room was filled with cold as the door swung open. I gasped as I saw the figure standing there with a cart full of luggage.

"I'm your new roommate." he said simply with the biggest of evil smirks. No… fucking… way. "Long time no see, Cal."


	8. About Death, and Bonding

**About Death, and Bonding**

**Kenny**

I finally figured it out. The sure fire way to end everything I once held dear. I finally found out how to kill myself, and never come back. I am so angry that I didn't think of it sooner.

"Kenny!" a voice yelled. "Kenny, what the fucking hell are you doing?" he shouted.

"Nothing." I said from the roof of the convenient store. "What are you doing here?"

"Kenny, get the hell down!" shouted my brother from below. "Kenny! No!" Kevin's voice was strained, and I saw a sparkle in his eyes as liquid anguish filled them. He began to plead, and steady tears fell from his eyes. "You'll just wake up in bed tomorrow, anyway, Kenny!" he shouted bitterly. "Why do it?" he asked.

"'because this time, I won't. This time, I know how to make it so I don't wake up tomorrow." I said simply. "I have to really truly want this. I have to really truly want my death." I said as I perched myself on the edge of the roof top.

"No!" Kevin shouted as I took my left foot off the edge. "Kenny, this isn't funny! Get the fuck down from there, now!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. "Now, Kenny!"

"I will, if you just be quiet. It's not easy to commit suicide when your brother's staring up at you, begging for you to get down." I observed smirking. "It's really not easy. You're killing the mood."

"Shut the fuck up, and get down off of there, right now! If you get down, I'll only beat you up for a little while." he yelled. "I'll only punch your face in twice this time."

"That's real reassuring." I said sarcastically. "Don't you see, Kevin, this is what I have to do. I can't keep going like this. I can't. Everything is meaningless." I explained.

"You can't do this, Kenny!" he moaned. "Think about your people. They need you. They need… Mysterion." he said softly.

"I retired my cape and suit a long time ago, Kevin. And you know it." I said sighing. "I have nothing. No one to protect, no one to love the way I loved my Semite so." I said as my heart thudded painfully against my chest.

"Kenny, please!" Kevin sobbed. "I love you! You can't do this to me! Kenny, you're insane!" he snapped. "You've been trying this for two and a half years, and nothing! What makes you think you can succeed this time?" he shouted.

Before I could say anything, he was gone. Soon, I heard a noise, and I saw with surprising view, how quickly he climbed the pole up to the roof. Soon, he was standing up behind me. I leapt from the roof, and closed my eyes.

**Kevin**

I let out a scream that was heard all around South Park. Or at least, I hoped. My brother lost his footing, and fell through the air. I threw myself to the edge of the roof, and grabbed the boy by the hood. The orange hood that so nearly escaped my grip. I yanked him back to me with surprising strength. He struggled, and cried out, but I held tight and brought him crashing on to the roof with me. I pulled him into a rib cracking hug. Safe. My little brother was safe. I had him tightly gripped in my arms as I sobbed uncontrollably into his beautiful golden hair.

"Kenny!" I sobbed. "Why? Why are you like this, Kenny? He'll come back! I know he will." I sobbed. "Please, little brother. I've seen what you're doing to yourself! It's really not funny to see it anymore. At first it was like, okay. He'll wake up in his bed tomorrow, and everything will be fine. But now, watching you starve to death, or poison yourself, or shoot your brains out, it's gross!" I sobbed. "And it hurts like hell to see! Kenny, please! I need you! I need you to be here with me. To help me keep going! You're my little brother! You're my family, Kenny, and I couldn't deal with myself if anything happened to you that would physically tear you from my life." I moaned. "Parents are supposed to be buried first. Not children. And you're still a children."

"Kevin," he said sighing. "I'm twenty years old now."

"Yeah?" I asked. "And? That doesn't mean you act like it. So, technically, you're still a children." I said as my tears soaked his hair. "Kenny, please, listen to me. What makes you think that if you do it this way, truly wanting death, you'll stay dead?" I asked.

"Because maybe it will happen this time. I don't belong here anymore." he muttered tonelessly. "Everything is gone. Everything. I can't keep on going, Kevin. None of you understand how I feel. It's like a part of me is missing. I've got nothing to be alive for anymore." he whispered through his own tears. "I'm missing something. My love. My Kyle." he croaked having trouble with the name. "I'm missing my pride and joy. And worst of all, not that it really matters to anyone, but no one knows where the hell Cartman is." he gasped.

"Then, why die?" I questioned. "Maybe you're supposed to save whoever he's after now. To keep them safe."

"Don't you get it, big brother?" he whispered. "It's always going to be… Kyle! For all I know, he's probably already dead! Because Cartman is insane! Cartman has everything he wants, and will stop at nothing to get him. Kyle is in danger, and he can't do for himself. And if he gets hurt, while I'm alive, than I've failed. So, it's better if I can leave this planet, and never look back. Everything is gone, for me." Kenny explained sadly.

"You know, all of what you just said?" I asked as I tried to stop crying but failed. "None of it made sense!" I shouted angrily. "Kenny, let's get down." I said softly. "You can't die, Kenny. I need you. You're my, pride and joy." I said echoing his compliment of Kyle Broflovski. "I love you, and I can't stand to see you like this, Kenny. Besides, I just looked down… and peed a little." I added as I spotted the height that we were at. "And I think if you don't get me down from here, I'll call the fire department to do it."

With a catlike grace, Kenny grabbed me around the waist. He looked into my eyes, and the gruff voice I hadn't heard in so long, asked me a question I was only too willing to answer.

"Do you trust me?" Mysterion asked staring me deep in the face.

"Yes." I whispered softly. "With my life."

He grabbed me, and jumped. I thought this was it. I thought for sure this was the end. But Kenny managed to turn us right side up, and land lightly on his feet as we both stood trembling on ground level now. I stared at him, and pulled him into my arms once again. We were safe. Safe, and sound. I had to get my brother help. … Had to.

**Author's Note:**

So, what do you think of this brotherly moment? I think this is my favorite chapter. Review. It would make me feel so, happy.


	9. Awakening

**Awakening**

I had been in pain for the last part of my long Kyleless life. I can't really remember how, but after I got saved by Kevin, something happened to me. That day, we had made it to my place, and I'd fallen asleep in my brother's arms. Every once in a while, I'd hear people around me, talking, but I couldn't quite hear what they said. Every once in a while, I would habitually pull the strings of my orange jacket's hood tighter, to conceal my tear stained face. Because I cried. In my sleep, in my state of wakefulness. I cried when I felt sick, scared, alone. Empty. I cried. But now, I cried in my sleep as dreams of my lost other half found me. Was he safe, was he eating, was he alive? He could already be dead, and I don't even know it. The question still haunted all of us to death. Where the hell was Eric Fatass Cartman? Where was he? Where was the boy at? No one knew. Not his mom, or anyone. Ike and Stan were with me at a Luvs convenient store once a couple days ago, and Stan joked about how Cartman hated Kyle so much he probably snuck into NYU to kill him. Soon, I'd come to find out it wasn't a funny joke.

I could still feel my familiar shelter around me. Kevin's arms hadn't let me go. He still sat beneath me, and I still lay across him. Every once in a while, I'd hear his familiar drawl that he'd inherited from my dad.

"Kenny, I love you. You mean the world to me, and if anything happened to you, I'd go crazy. Karen loves you, too, doncha, baby?" he would ask.

But somehow, the voice of my little sister wouldn't pierce my brain. I couldn't hear her reply, I just heard Kevin pleading for me to be okay. And I wanted to, now more than ever. I needed to be here. Because my life didn't just revolve around Kyle alone. Okay, yes, it did. Or at least, it seemed so, to me. But I was really hurting my family. And everything had been going the right way after Kevin returned. Mom and dad's drinking went down significantly. Dad actually got a job, and mom did too. I felt useless now that I think about it. Why hadn't I gotten a job yet? Oh yeah, part of me had been cut away.

I woke up at some point. I lost track of the time, the days. I just sort of awoke. Everyone around me treated me like a fragile something. Everyone accept my brother's wife.

"Kenny, may I come in?" she asked two days after I woke up.

"What?" I asked a little tiredly.

"Kenny you need to get your ass off the bed, and go out and do shit. Go hang with Stan, or even Butters. Go hang out with other people other than that bed of yours." she said simply as she sat down beside me.

"Naw. I'm not feeling okay." I lied.

"I'm not giving you a choice, Kenneth!" she said making me jump back. "You are leaving the house, whether you like it or not!"

"You're not my mother, Bonnie! You can't tell me what to do!" I shouted standing up. "Who do you think you are?"

"I think I'm the one who helped you get your ass on track already more than once!" she yelled. "Don't forget, Kevin may have saved your ass from jumping off the roof at Luvs, but I've saved your ass from starvation four times, and from stupidly locking yourself in the walk in fridge at Luvs. Kenny, what are you playing at?" she asked. "Is Kyle Broflovski the only thing keeping you going? Really? This is so not you!" she yelled. "Now, get dressed, and go out! Go find yourself a job!"

"Bonnie, please. I'm so not in the mood for this." I said bitterly.

"For the last fucking time, Kenneth Daniel McCormick!" she shouted. "I'm not asking you! I'm telling you, that you are getting out of this house! I don't care if I have to go and throw you out myself!"

"You're forgetting who you're talking to." I said in my low vocal.

"Oh, please! Mysterion is no match for me. You wouldn't dare do anything to hurt me, and you god damn know it." she said smartly.

"Don't you dare play the 'blind' card on me, Bonnie!" I shot. "Cuz it's not gonna work."

"Kenny, this is more than me playing the blind card! This is your life!" she yelled standing up in front of me. "Now, get up, and get dressed. I expect you to come out to the kitchen, for a meal, and then go find yourself a damn good job. Christ, what do I need to do to reach you!" she yelled as she left. "I'm not joking, Kenneth!" she yelled at the top of her lungs as the door closed. "I'm waiting for you!"

Bonnie really did have good intentions. I found myself getting dressed and pulling on my orange jacket. I zipped up against the cold, and left my hood off. I really didn't care. I sprayed myself with my cologne, and left. I met up with Bonnie in the kitchen.

I felt surprisingly hungry. It used to be that my body wouldn't take any food. I would try eating, and I'd just end up throwing back up again. I died constantly from malnourishment, and wake up again in my bed, brand new. But now, I realized I felt thirsty and really hungry. So, I ate what she gave me, and I did as I was told. Soon, I found myself pumping gas at the Luvs gas station beside the convenient store. I felt like taking a deep breath of fresh air after being cooped up inside so long. I found a new appreciation for life. I felt so strange. Different. I found I wasn't so depressed now, that Kyle had left me. I really didn't care as much.

"Kenny, go check the mail." my dad said as he sat on the counter eating a plate of steak.

When I walked outside, I expected to get a bunch of bills, junk mail, magazines. When I pulled the box door open, I found: bills, junk mail, coupons, Kyle's handwritten letter. Wait. Kyle? What?


	10. Letters to Kenny

**Letters to Kenny**

Dear Kenny,

It's been a long time. I know you probably don't want to talk to me. Or even hear from me anymore. I tried to call you guys, and nothing worked. All of your numbers have been changed. I'm almost graduated, Kenny. I'll be back soon.

Love, Kyle

Dear Kenny,

I dream about you all the time. I don't know why I'm writing to you, but I don't feel like writing to anyone else. I guess I feel ashamed. I ran away. I fled my friends, my parents, my little brother. Kenny, things are getting out of hand over here. Nothing is familiar, and the excitement of being in a new city has gone away. Now, I'm just afraid. Nothing is like I pictured it. No one has new found abilities, like I dreamed. There are no other people that I've met who are like me. I can't find any good Synagogues to go to. I miss all of you. I'm sorry about what I did to you, Kenny. I only hope that you are getting my letters, and reading them. I bet you aren't, though. I bet you take one glance at the hand writing, and throw it all away. I would too. Kenny, I'm sorry.

Miss you always, Kyle

Dear Kenny,

Something terrible has happened to me. Cartman made it into NYU. I don't know how, Kenny, or why, but he did. And he is my roommate. Kenny, I'm afraid. I'm sleeping in the same room as someone who already almost succeeded in killing me. I feel like writing to mom and dad, or calling you guys, but no one has tried to even find me, and you all—whether on purpose or not—changed your numbers. Kenny, I feel like I'm in trouble. Cartman may hurt me. I really want to see you again.

Kyle

Dearest Kenny,

I avoided going to my dorm today, because I woke up in the middle of the night with a butter knife in my arm. I went to the nurse on campus, and she stitched me up. We both know who it is, Ken. I don't know what to do. I'm staying at a hotel. I'm too scared shitless to go back to Cartman and sleep in the same room with him. I feel sick. Wanna go home.

Love, Kyle B

The next letter was somewhat illegible. It was still Kyle's handwriting, I could tell from the way it did it's familiar slants. Everyone said he wrote a little different than all of us. He had perfect handwriting, it was unique. I saw tear marks on the paper, and almost didn't want to read.

Dear Kenny,

You still won't write back. I really would like to go home. I've still got a long way to go. My advisor says if I graduate early, he'd be proud. Kenny, I'm afraid for my life. I woke up today with Cartman standing over me, and a butcher knife at my throat. He keeps trying to play it off as a joke every time he awakes me, but it's really out of control. Kenny, please, help. I'm so fucking sorry. Call me.

He printed his number neatly at the bottom. Signed with his love to me. It was the third year of his absence. Sheila and Gerald were getting back to Normal. Ike would be graduating today. Well, not today, today. He'd graduate this year. He could've a long time ago, but chose to remain in his class. My little sister would be graduating, too. I couldn't say I was sad, scared, or worried. I told Kyle he had to be careful. I told him, he needed to be safe. Now, look what was happening.

Dear Kenny,

Was let out of the hospital today. I had a case of appendicitis. My appendix ruptured, and almost killed me. No one found me for like three hours, and I'd been walking around the whole day with the pain. I just thought it was a result of missing you. My soul is void of anything, now. I feel over taken by my own emotions. I can't, do anything to stop them. Kenny, I'm so deeply sorry, and no amount of apology could ever make up for everything I did. Ever. And I understand that. You have my number. I'm starting to doubt whether you still live in the same place. I don't know why I still haven't written to anyone but you. Maybe I should give up. Accept that you're with someone else. My heart is breaking, and my whole life has fallen apart. I am almost graduated.

To Mr. Kenneth McCormick,

I am writing to inform you, that Kyle G Broflovski, has been fatally poisoned. He now rests at the General hospital, in New York New York. It is his request that you fly out here as soon as you can. I have no other way to contact any other relative of his, and yours was the only address I found amongst his papers. The male has suffered from acute arsenic poisoning. Luckily, it was caught in time. Please send word soon of your decline or acceptance to arrive and meet your party.

Regards, Julie Swan

There was a number.


	11. Last Resort

**Last Resort**

I was alone. And now, Cartman was once again a part of my life. Cartman was once again after my blood. For whatever reason, he was once again scheming to kill me. I knew I should've left the moment I saw that face again. I was standing in front of a desk. Trying to get my dorm room reassigned. I was talking to a lady whose name I probably would never find out.

"You have to understand!" I pleaded. "This is my child hood bully! You don't know just how insane he is! He tried to kill me in high school, and I am afraid he is trying to kill me, now!" I pleaded. "Please, understand me! I would like a new roommate, or a single room."

"You have to understand, my dear." the nameless lady spoke. "This is all we have for you. I have nothing else available."

"How about the apartments on campus?" I asked. "Can't I move into one of those?" I pleaded.

"Unfortunately, there is none available. I'm very sorry, son." she said sighing. "But you have to deal with what you were given."

I hated arguing with the nameless lady for much longer. So, I just left. As I did, the door slammed behind me, and a flashback of me storming out of Kenny's house like that hit me hard. Incredibly hard.

I spent the next few weeks avoiding my room. I only went in there when I knew for sure Cartman was gone. I went to get new outfits, my books, and all that other junk I needed. I hated having to play a Hunting We Will Go, with the fatass. But I was also afraid. That weekend, I went and rented a hotel. There was already a party going on in the hotel lounge, and I could hear very familiar lyrics coming from the sound system.

"I got time while she got freedom!

Cuz when a heart breaks, no it don't break even."

Damn right. I thought bitterly. I walked into my empty room, and plopped down on the bed. I took my phone out, and I called Information. I had to find a number that I could call. There was no success. All the people I tried were unlisted. There was no way to find even Butters. Everyone was lost to me. After I hung up, I looked once more through all my contacts. Then, I found what I'd been missing. It was the number for Kevin. Not Stoley, either. McCormick. My last resort. My breathing got tense as that phone started to ring. Once, twice

"Hello?" I gasped. Was it really him? Or was it someone else?

"Kevin?" I choked out almost unable to speak. "Kevin McCormick?"

"That's my name, don't wear it out." Kevin said simply. "How can I help you, and who are you, and how did you get my number?"

"I don't know how you can help me. It's Kyle. You gave me it when you returned from college." I had no idea what I expected. How I expected him to behave. But I got all I deserved in the end, I guess.

"Hey." he said flatly. "How's things going?" he asked.


	12. Mysterion

**Mysterion**

"What dooya need, kid?" Kevin asked simply. "I got fifteen minutes to listen to you."

"What's happening over there?" Kyle asked concerned. "I can't call anyone, because everyone changed their numbers on me, and I can't get any from the phone book, or Information. Is Kenny there with you?"

"No. And even if he was, I don't think I'd let you talk to him." Kevin said simply.

"What?" Kyle gasped. "Why?" he asked. "Is he okay?"

"No, Kyle." Kevin said bitterly. "No, he is not okay. Do you have any idea what…?" he trailed off and decided to rephrase his sentence. "You have no, idea what you've put my little brother through. At all."

"Kevin, I can explain." Kyle tried.

"No, Kyle." Kevin said as a memory of his brother's suicide attempts came back to him. "No, you can not explain. You are a stubborn guy, Kyle, but even you have crossed a new level of stupidity that I never dreamed possible of you. You grew up with a genius for a brother, a very studious mother and father, and you still fucked up. What you did really takes the cake on the list of stupid moments that you've had." Kevin ranted. "I'm so tired, of waking up in the middle of the night, having to go comfort my brother, because, quote, unquote, my whole world has fallen apart. My life has been ripped in half, and I can't put the pieces back together. My one and only true friend is gone, and I am trying as hard as I can to die. Even if it means killing myself over and over and over, until that one final death, that will let me stay dead." Kevin recited. "I'm tired of not being able to have decent sex with my wife, because my brother's in the next room either blowing his brains out, or catatonic."

"Dude, too much info." Kyle said blushing.

"Kyle, you're almost out of college." Kevin spat. "Grow up, and get yourself a new filter of vocab. Because you can't be sheltered from sex all the time. Or have you forgotten Kenny?" he stabbed.

"Look, Kevin. I've tried to fix things. I called because you're the only one who's number I still have." Kyle said simply. "This is not a coincidence, is it?" he asked as a realization hit him in the balls.

"No, Kyle. It is not. Bonnie and I stayed with our same numbers, hoping you'd get in touch with either of us. But the rest, they all moved on. Kenny is working now. My wife made him get a job and everything. It's been a little over a year. Kenny's working, and doing fine. The dream spells don't hit anymore. He sleeps through the night, and he's started eating again. Kyle, you have no idea, and never will, of what you've put me and my family through. And your family. Ike nearly tried killing himself too. And you know, unfortunately, Ike can't come back."

By now, Kyle was softly crying into the inside of a leather jacket. He tried to steady his voice as he spoke the next words. "I'm sorry." he blurted. "I wasn't thinking."

"No, Kyle. You weren't thinking. About how your mom is now on antidepressants, and your dad nearly lost his job. About how Stanley put off his wedding for you. Because after you left without saying goodbye, you violated a loyal best friend thing that I don't really care about. You didn't stop to think how badly things would be affected, just because you decided that your family and mine, were being too over protective of you. Not that Fatass Cartman matters, but Stan and Kenny didn't even celebrate their twenty first, because of your absence. And that's a big deal for me. Because now that we actually have money to do things, we couldn't make Ken the best birthday of his life. So the truth is, Kyle, you have really… truly… royally… fucked up. This would've been avoided if you would've just planned it out. You tried to run from protection, and now, it seems like you're giving off the vibe that you need it." he pointed out as Kyle sat sobbing on his bed. "Tell me, Kyle. What do you suppose you should do?"

"Hang the phone up." Kyle said bitterly.

"Yeah? So you can run away from the shit that I already told you?" Kevin spat. "Remember, I went to college, too, sport. I know what unfamiliarity, and loneliness will do to a man. Yet, I left without leaving a piece of my soul behind. And in doing so, I found the piece of my soul. And I chose never to let it go. That is why, I hauled Bonnie's ass back to South Park. Because she had no family, and I had one to care for."

"We're going off on a complete opposite tangent." Kyle blurted standing up and pacing the room.

"No, Kyle. Because your next question to me, is: "What do you think I should do?"?"

"So?" Kyle asked a little timidly. "What should I do?"

"If I was Kenny, I'd have told you that I don't forgive you. That if you returned, never to look for me, or so much as spit in my direction. But knowing my little brother as well as I do, I know he'd forgive your sorry little ass."

"I can't leave yet." Kyle said wiping tears from his eyes. "I've got three months to go."

"Well then?" Kevin said with a little chuckle. "I'm sorry, my boy. But you' are screwed."

"Will you tell Kenny I called?" Kyle asked gently.

"No, Kyle. He's doing good. He doesn't need to be reminded of you anymore. Until time comes. So, sorry. Goodbye." he said in a sing song voice as he clicked off.

Kyle felt terrifying. He felt dizzy, and he really wanted to just lay down and sleep. Kyle could feel his eyes give way as the tears slipped through. It had been a long time since he'd really cried, and he really felt like it was long overdue.

The boy wasn't paying any attention to anything. In fact, he hadn't paid attention to the food he consumed, or the drinks he drank. Otherwise, he would've noticed. When he grabbed a water bottle, he would've noticed the broken seals on the caps. He would've noticed that as he ate the food he thought he kept safe, the taste was somehow off. So now, as he lay on the hotel bed, he drifted off. Into an unconsciousness. He drifted off, and if the higher power in control that was out there was watching him, the grim reaper would surely be here soon.

Housekeeping came along two hours later, and found the red headed Semite lying on the bed almost unable to breathe. The ambulance was called, and the twenty year old was taken to the hospital soon after.

And behind them, traipsed a hooded figure dressed in the exact suit that Mysterion would wear. Only, this Mysterion, well, was not Kenny McCormick.

The Semite awoke with a start. He looked around himself, and wondered what had happened to him. He stared around, and didn't find anything. Until…

"You're awake." said a whispery voice. "How do you feel?"

"Dizzy." Kyle whispered back. "Mysterion?" he gasped.

"Yes." said the false hero smiling at his prey.

"Mysterion?" Kyle asked as his heart raced wildly. "How?" he asked. "How did you get here?"

"I have my ways." said the masked villain smiling down at the captive. "Are you thirsty?"

"Yes." Kyle said softly.

Mysterion lifted the bottle of water up to his friend's lips. The boy drank over half the bottle. If only he were well enough to notice that it tasted so off. The water didn't taste this bad in New York. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong indeed.

**Author's Note:**

We're half way there. Just sayin'.


	13. Unbroken Promise

**Unbroken Promise**

It had been four days since the red head was taken to the hospital. Four days, and only fifteen minutes since the letter had been received. Kenny had called the meeting, and Stan, Wendy, Ike, Butters, and Kevin were gathered around him reading the letter.

"Really?" Ike said as if this really didn't surprise him. "Cartman made it all the way to NYU just to kill Kyle. Really?"

"I'm going after him." Kenny said simply. "Butters, you got the stuff?" he asked.

"Sure, Ken." Butters said bumping his knuckles nervously. "I made it just like you asked."

"Made what?" Stan asked confused.

"You know how I always die? When I'm Mysterion, I die, and my suit gets lost. I've been having Butters make my costumes since the beginning of this whole thing. Lucky the guy knows what he's doing." Kenny said as Butters handed him a bag with his suit in it. "Anyway, I'm going after him. I have to save Kyle."

"Look at all you've gone through, Kenny." Kevin said simply. "Are you really going to forgive-?"

"This is more than forgiving his sorry ass, Kevin. I'm not going as Kenny. I'm going as Mysterion." he chimed.

"Yeah, and he knows who Mysterion is." Wendy said from beside Stan.

"Yeah, but the thing is, I'm not going to save him, get back together with him, and have romantic I'm glad you're alive sex." Kenny said flinching at his words. "I'm going to make sure he doesn't get killed by Cartman. Because I promised him. I promised him as Mysterion, that I would always be there. I would always be there to catch him when he needed me. Not Kenny. And now, he needs me. What a coincidence that the letters have been coming, and what a coincidence that the nurse just happened… to find my address." Kenny spat. "I'm flying out tomorrow. I already booked a flight. Stan-?"

"I'll go with you." Stan said readily.

"No. Cartman will run. No, you'll stay here, and cover for me at the store. You can keep the pay check."

"Kenny-!" Stan and Butters gasped.

"Please, don't argue with me. Kenny said standing up. "I'm very angry right now, and lord only knows what I'm able to do. Mysterion's been dying to kick some ass and take some names for the longest time."

So they waited. The day was incredibly brutal for everyone. Ike couldn't tell his mom and dad, because they would try whatever they could to save Kyle, and Kyle would end up dying in the process. So, he held his secret as he lay in his bed that night.

"You know," he said to no one in particular. "Most teenagers this age are excited about graduating. They stay up late playing video games, or reading an Albert Einstein Autobiography. But not me. I'm staying up waiting on my dying brother, and graduation is the last thing on my fucking mind."

Kenny stopped caring about his constant deaths when he turned thirteen. He had been cautious, and tried to stay away from anything that could kill in any way. Matches, needles, pointy objects, cliffs, high jumps, anything. But he stopped caring, which is why at four in the morning, when Butters drove him to the airport, he didn't so much as flinch at the thought of going on to the plane. So what if it crashed? Kenny would wake up the next day. Maybe in his bed, maybe in the rubble of the plane, who knew. But it was bound to happen. So, he left. It took them only forty-five minutes to get to the airport. Kevin had been furious, Bonnie had egged him on. Stan wished him luck, over and over and over. Ike was shocked, and stunned into silence. He'd be back.

"Want me to wait with you, Kenny?" Butters asked as he bumped his knuckles as they walked into the airport in Denver.

"Do you mind?" Kenny asked. He felt nervous. He felt alone. He was headed somewhere he'd never been before. Oh, man, was his stomach really going to hurt now?

"Here, pal." Butters said in that familiar soothing voice. "I bought you these."

It was a shining copy of _Silence of the Lambs_, and a very big bag of Starbursts. He smiled. Butters pushed a pack of gum into his hand as well.

"Man, Leopold. Where the hell did you get this?" Kenny questioned smiling.

"Ike." Butters said simply. "I bought the candy, and gum. Ike loaned you the book. He said you were done with _The Red Dragon_."

"Thanks, guy." Kenny said stuffing them into the convenient pockets in his jacket. They were actually quite big. And unless you patted him down, it didn't show he had objects in his pockets.

"Will you be okay, Kenny?" Butters asked biting his lip. "I can go with you, you know."

"No, Butters." Kenny said smiling at him. "I'll be fine. You have to let them know that I have my debit card, okay? I may not be back for two and a half months. Until Kyle Graduates. Tell them I'll keep in touch."

"Okay. See you soon." Butters said as he led Kenny to his plane. "Kenny, be careful, okay?" Butters said simply. "Eric is dangerous, Kenny."

"I know, Butters. See you later." Kenny said simply as he hugged his old friend.

"Bye." Butters said smiling. "Don't ruin the suit, either."

"I'll try not to, man." Kenny said as he was pushed into the plane by the crowd.

Butters went and sat at the gate seats, and waited for his friend's plane to take off. It was strange to see the plane lift off, and fly off into the just now rising sun.


	14. Mysterion Again, Twice

**Mysterion Again Twice**

The blonde boy sat in the back of the plane, almost close to the bathrooms. Flight attendants would offer drinks, and food. The boy sat reading his book with his brows furrowed, and his eyes almost unmoving. He found that he could really concentrate on his book as he waited for the plane to take him to Kyle. To Cartman. He followed all the people off the Plane when he had to switch flights at the more than halfway mark. He fingered his cheap Samsung as he walked on to the next plane, and prepared for another seven hours of flight. Before the plane took off, he sent Ike a text.

Headed on to my second flight. Takes off at one fourteen, lands in Brooklyn at seven thirty-nine.

Thanks, Kenny. I love you.

I love you, too, Ike. Don't forget to keep quiet to Sheila. She'll flip.

She and dad are worse than ever. They know something's up, Dude.

Ugh. I hate my life. Most teens are busy planning their next car crash, or joy ride.

Yeah? And most teens like me are busy reading something by Chaucer.

The plane's about to take off, Ike. Love you, and be a good little Jew. Kay?

Love you, too. Be a good little… Mysterion thing.

Kenny laughed as the plane's seat belt sign came on. He stuffed his phone back into his pocket, and buried his nose back into his book. He had to get to the hospital. Whether or not his life was going to be put back together, he had to save Kyle's. Cartman was not going to take the Semite's life.

"You're gonna miss your exit." said a lady coming up to him.

"Oh, shit!" Kenny screamed into his hood. "I gotta get the hell out of here!"

Without waiting for a reply from the nameless human, Kenny ran past her, and out of the plane. He didn't have any luggage besides his carry on, and so was free to just go. He ran as fast as his light build could carry him, and walked up to one of the service counters.

"May I help you?" asked a man as he spotted Kenny.

"Is it possible to get a taxi of some sort?" Kenny asked pulling back his hood to reveal his face.

"Yes, sir. Where would you like to go? Would you like me to book you a hotel room?"

"No. There's no need for that. I'm here with a friend. I'm headed to New York City's General Hospital." he said simply.

"All right. I'll book you a taxi, right away." he said as he typed some things into his computer.

Forty-five minutes later, Kenny was headed off to the other city, and the hospital. He was closer to Kyle than before. Somehow, he felt empty and emotionless. Before he could focus on how he was going to feel, he was told which building it was.

"Can you stop at the gas station right there?" he requested as the man pointed.

"Sure thing, Mr. McCormick." the man said respectfully.

"Thank you." Kenny said as the man stopped in front of the gas station. "Keep the change." Kenny ordered as he handed him a hundred.

"Thank you, sir." said the man as he drove away.

Kenny walked into the gas station's neighboring store, and into the men's restroom. He took out his cell phone, and called Kevin. The older male picked up at the second ring.

"I'm almost at the place." Kenny informed. "Whose over there?"

"Ike, Butters, Bonnie, and I." Kevin said sighing. "Stan's working, and Wendy just doesn't feel right here without Stan."

"Okay, well, I'll keep in touch regularly, okay?" Kenny said as he took his suit out. "Bye."

"Bye." said the other dude as they hung up.

Kenny wasted no time to change into his suit. Right now was not the time to be embarrassed about the fact that his underwear were on the outside of his pants. It's not like he didn't have his pair of Jockeys on the inside.

"May I help you?" asked a receptionist as he made his way up to the counter.

"I'm looking for Kyle Broflovski." Kenny pressed. "Might you be able to tell me which room he is in?"

"Yes. Mr. Brofloski is in the ICU on the fourth floor. He's in room 17." she released.

"Thank you." Mysterion said as he walked away.

He ran as fast as he could to the elevator, and headed up. It was the longest elevator ride in the whole world. He finally made it, and only spent two minutes finding the Semite's room.

The room was gloomy, and there was only one cot. Kyle lay sleeping—or unconscious, who knew—on the cot with white sheets as white as his face on him. A nurse was looking at her patient with heavy eyes. She turned.

"Hello?" she gasped as she saw him. "May I ask who you are?" she asked.

"I was sent by Kenneth McCormick." Mysterion said gently in his low alto.

The lady's face lit up. "Oh, yes. I was the one who wrote the letter. Is Mr. McCormick coming? On his way?" she asked.

"Unfortunately, he is not able to come. He had other things going on, and could not make the appointment." said Mysterion smiling at himself. The lady couldn't see his face even though she kept trying hard to.

"Oh. The boy's getting worse, and I don't know what to do. We had his arsenic levels down quite well last week, and all of a sudden they've risen again. Someone is poisoning him."

"Do we have security cameras?" Mysterion asked a little anguished.

"Yes." she said simply. "The camera is hidden behind the light fixture there." she said pointing.

"And no one else knows?" Mysterion asked.

"No. I have to go make my rounds. He's always thirsty when he wakes, and so, here's a couple waters for him." she said simply.

"Thank you, Nurse Julie." he said smiling.

"You're welcome." she said as she backed out of the room with her cart.

"Kyle, it's time to quit playing games." Kenny said simply. "It's time to wake up."

Mysterion sat with Kyle for a long time. Until something caught his attention. He heard someone coming, and it wasn't the usual doctors and nurses footsteps. The hero got up from his post, and saw Kyle open his eyes. Kyle gasped as he saw him. But Mysterion quickly hid himself among the shadows, which conveniently there were a lot of. He always was amazed that things presented themselves to him when in need. He smiled as the door opened, and his prey came walking in. Mysterion stood over Kyle as the door to the room closed. Kyle began to silently cry, and reach for the slightly plumper hero. The fake Mysterion cooed softly.

"It's okay, it's okay. Would you like water?" he asked.

"Yes!" Kyle sobbed. "I'm so thirsty. I want to leave, Mysterion." he moaned. "Help."

That's when Mysterion saw Cartman take the bottle out of his pocket. Kenny almost gasped out loud as he watched Cartman lift Kyle's head up to drink. Kyle's body was smart. His body's reflex instantly spat the water out, but Kyle tried to take in as much as he could.

"That's enough!" Mysterion yelled walking over to them. "That's enough, you filthy little prick."

"And who are you?" Cartman asked.

"That is not for you to find out. Just let the ginger go."

"Mysterion?" Kyle gasped. "What? What's going on?"

"What's going on?" Cartman asked quickly. "Is that this fag is in disguise!" Cartman yelled. "He's a fake!"

Mysterion conveniently pressed himself against the call button and yelled loudly. "How long have you been poisoning this ginger?"

"I haven't." Cartman yelled. "You are a liar, and you look nothing like the real Mysterion. Who is obviously, me."

"Give up!" Mysterion said lowly. "What are you trying to prove by hurting innocent people? What do you want with the Jew?"

Kyle began to sweat profusely, and soon, the boy's eyes were closed. He felt himself losing control of his mind. Two Mysterions? Two? How? Who was his Mysterion? Who was Kenny?

"No!" Mysterion yelled as the two started wrestling.

IV stands, and so much more equipment than is necessary to name flew around the room as the two heroes fought on the spot. It was the weirdest thing, and Kyle couldn't take it all in for very long. He couldn't even move, let alone keep track of which Mysterion was which.

"You're going to Jail, Tubby!" Mysterion yelled. "How long have you been attempting to kill the Jew for?"

"My whole life!" Cartman confessed. "He has ruined my whole life just by existing! His blood is mine!" the fake hero shouted.

"Cartman!" Kyle moaned. "Cartman! No! No! He's won!"

As the boy began to cry, Kenny felt a sharp pain in his heart. Fuck my life. He thought to himself. Even after all this hell Kyle Broflovski had just put him through. The blonde still felt something for the redhead. He still wanted the boy so much.


	15. Back to the Promise

**Back To the Promise**

They detained Cartman, and took him into custody. He was going to be charged with attempted murder. I was kind of surprised it took this long. I mean, usually, I would've expected Cartman to Kidnap the Jew. I would've expected him to play some sort of game with Kyle's life. He really wanted Kyle dead. I sat on the chair beside him, still fully dressed in my costume. I called and let all the others know what was going on. They were all relieved that I had Kyle safe now. I was expecting it to take a lot longer than this. Oh well. Less fighting for me, I guess.

The Jew started crying as I sat beside him. "Please!" he pleaded. "Water! I need water!" he moaned. "I want to go home! I want my parents, my home, Kenny!" he moaned. "I want Kenny!"

How could I resist a weeping Semite? I took one of the bottles on the counter, and broke the seal. I opened it, and stood over Kyle, lifting his head up. I helped him drink the water down, and this time, his reflexes didn't spit the clean bottled water out. He moaned and opened his eyes.

"Hood." he said looking at my hood.

I pulled it back and let it fall to my shoulders. The look on his face almost made me break away the last resolve of strength I had. But no. Not now. Not ever. It was not going to happen.

"Who?" he asked looking over at me.

"Cartman." I said lowly. "All along. Speaking as Kenny," I said without being able to control myself. "I would like to take the time to say… I fucking told you so, Kyle."

Kyle closed his eyes, and tears fell on to his pillow. He looked hurt. As if I'd just punched him in the face. Good. He didn't say anything.

"Leave." he said softly after a while.

"Okay." I said smiling. I pulled my hood back up, and I sat down.

"I thought I said-!"

"You told Kenny to leave." I said gruffly. "I keep my promises, Kyle. I promised you that I would keep you safe. Mysterion does not go back on his word. I will not rest until you are safely out of this hospital."

He was almost out of it for the whole time. Some little faggot came and dropped off his homework. I swore to God he was flirting with him. On one occasion, I actually confronted him about it, when the unnamed boy leaned down into Kyle and told him to feel better soon, suggestively brushing his fingers through my Jew's red curls.

"Hey hey hey!" I said without being able to stop myself. "Keep your filthy little NYU hands off the Jewfro, Blue Shirt." I warned.

"How long have you been here anyway?" the boy asked turning to me. "You know you're wearing your underwear wrong?"

"This is the new sheaque retard look." I said backing myself up. "I pull it off well enough, don't you think? Are you openly flirting with a sick patient?" I asked.

"He won't be sick for long. The nurse even said. He's getting better."

"Yeah? Once he's better, he's mine again, you little fag. So, keep your dirty hands off that Semite, or I'll kick your ass, good."

"He hasn't spoken." the other male said gently looking at Kyle.

"Kenny!" Kyle moaned. "Kenny! Don't leave, Ken! I'm sorry!"

"Is that good enough for you?" I asked.

"Your name isn't even Kenny." the boy defended.

"Kenny? Yes, it is. Would you like proof?" I asked.

"Let's see some ID, fool." he challenged.

I pulled back my hood, took off my mask, and I handed him my ID. He stared at the picture, and at my face, and I saw his gasp. He backed away and walked out of the room, without a backward glance. That's what I thought, fucker. Sorry, that was Kenny speaking. I meant to say, (Pulls hood and mask back on.), that's what I thought, prick.


	16. Operation Can Not Possibly Fail

**Operation Can Not Possibly Fail At Pissing Kyle Off**

I felt tired, dizzy, confused. I was let out of the hospital soon after Cartman was taken to jail. One of my class mates—who really doesn't matter now, because I don't know his name—brought me my homework. Mysterion was sitting with me the whole time, and I felt butter flies. Yet, those butter flies were almost unfelt, because of my dazed confused state. At one point, Mysterion and the class mate got into a huge argument, and Mysterion looked like he wanted to kill the other guy. But like I said, I was too out of it to really pay attention. I did manage to do my homework, and stay caught up. Soon, I was out of the hospital, and before I knew it, I was back in my own room at my dorm. Mysterion followed me in, and I closed the door. No sooner had he come in, before he was on his phone. He was on his phone, booking himself a flight back to South Park. Wait, I thought he would stay here. What? Why?

"Kevin?" he asked after he booked his flight and made another call. "Let 'em know I'm on my way back. First thing tomorrow morning. … Yeah. I have no choice. I pretty much know my way around. … Right. I'll see you guys later. Have either Butters or yourself ready to go get me. Whoever's not in class. Don't send Bonnie. … Haha, you fag." he said as a smile grazed his voice. "All right, bye. See you later."

I couldn't speak, yet I felt like I should say something. I felt like it was a dream. I didn't know what to do.

"D-did you get my letters?" I asked.

"No, Kyle. Kenny did, though."

"But you are-!"

"Yes, Kyle. I may be Kenny, but not right now. Right now, I'm Mysterion, and I'm here to keep you safe. I promised you I would."

"Okay, I'll play along." I said simply. My head started to throb, and I felt terrifying. I felt like running at him, and kissing him, I felt like kicking his ass. Yet, he would be able to out run me. Or at least kick my own ass. But I'd play along. I'd play with him like that if he wanted.

"Why didn't he write back?" I asked.

"Same reason everyone changed their numbers, Kyle." he said chuckling a little. "So that they wouldn't hear from your sorry ass again. Because you have to admit, you are a selfish little prick." he insulted.

"So, you guys really did change your numbers all together?" I asked a little hurt. "You guys knowingly changed your numbers, and didn't bother to call me?"

"How were we going to call you, Kyle?" he asked a little bit of laughter creeping into his voice again. "You changed your number the moment you decided to leave town. You left without saying goodbye. When Ike and your friends tried to call you, you were already long gone, and your number was new."

"It's called, the internet, Mysterion!" I yelled without being able to stop myself.

"Really? Well, why didn't you use said internet to search for your friends' numbers, or your brother, or your parents?" he asked.

There was no answer from me.

"Kyle, you are very unaware of all the hell you've caused. I'm not speaking on my behalf, or Kenny's. Don't deal with us right now. I'm talking about your mom and dad, and your brother. It would've been okay had you done this in a different way. Maybe you'd be safe right now, and maybe, a long distance relationship would have worked out with you and Kenny. And maybe," he said getting up. "You'd still have him. I'll have to report back to base and say that Operation Can Not Possibly Fail To Piss Kyle Off, worked very well."

And with that, he left.


	17. Keeping It Together

**Keeping It Together**

I expected everything to be back to normal as soon as I awoke the next day. But it wasn't. Dreams of Kenny and Mysterion, who were one in the same, yet two different identities, ran through my mind. I felt like running after him. I was in New York, and I had no familiarity. And here was my only piece of home to cling to, and yet, I couldn't hold him for very long. I'd managed to piss him off again. Just like he had me. And now, he was on a flight back home. Which meant no one was present for my graduation. I hated it.

For the last few weeks of my college experience, I felt like killing myself. I missed my friends, my mom and dad, I missed Ike. I missed Kenny. Knowing that he had gotten my letters, and not written back made me feel, strange. I would take out my IPhone, and look at the engraving on the back.

With love, always, K McCormick.

I ran my finger through the engraving, wishing I could brush it off. Wishing it was dust and I could wipe it the fuck off, so it would quit staring at me in the face.

He hadn't even given me a number to call. Anything at all. He hadn't given me anything. I still couldn't keep in touch with my family. And no one was present at my graduation. I couldn't wait to get back home. To get back to something I already knew.

"Will you be okay, Broflovski?" asked one of the instructors as I stood in line ready for the dean to call out our names.

"I'm fine." I lied as I smiled blankly at him.

"You look like hell, son. Just make sure you keep it together as you walk up on that stage. Wouldn't wanna fuck everything up with one wrong move."

I nodded as he walked down the line of alumni. Fuck everything up with one move. That's precisely what I had done. I had completely fucked everything up with one move. Would everyone welcome me back when I came home again? Or would they all hate me?


	18. Decisions

**Decisions**

I quickly locked up the store, and walked off. The darkness pressed in on me, and the cold bit at my face as I pulled my hood back over my head. I walked off to my house, wondering if my family was already asleep, or what. My folks were notorious for pulling all-nighters. It was already four forty in the morning, and I quickly made it to my house. I took out the key and unlocked my door, walking in and shutting the door on the cold.

"Hey, Kenny." said a voice making me jump. "Sorry."

"Why are you awake so early?" I asked as I spotted Bonnie standing a few feet away from me.

"Well, I got awoken." she muttered. "It's okay, though, because I have to go to work soon."

"Soon? It's barely five, and you start at eight!" I hissed. Mom and dad were still sleeping on the couch and mattress.

"Yeah. I know. Come with me to the kitchen, and we'll talk." she said softly.

I hate her. Right now, I really hated her. I could see by the look in her face, that some huge emotional shit was coming on. I couldn't handle it yet, man! I was still bruised on the inside. I was still pushing away the sobs that were threatening to come out of me every once in a while. Whenever the red head flashed into my mind. Whenever a memory of a bright smile flashed inside my head. I couldn't possibly talk about something emotional with anyone quite yet.

"Bonnie, this better be about the slug you found in the bathroom yesterday night." I warned. "Because if it's not…"

Yesterday, she had found a slug in the bathroom, on the tiles. She stepped on it bare foot, and she'd complained about that for a whole four hours. And right now, I'd rather talk about the slug nonstop than some emotional shit.

"Kenny." Bonnie was having trouble talking. "I mean,"

"Bonnie, let's just talk about something else if you'd like." I said sighing.

"Kyle-called!" she said so fast I almost didn't understand it. She said it all spliced together.

"Uh huh. And?" I asked a little shocked by her manner.

"He… well… his flight is… well, he's on his way home, and called Kevin." she muttered sadly. "He just boarded a plane."

On his way home? Kyle? Was coming back?

"Have you told anyone else?" I asked a little shaky.

"Well, no. Kevin said not to tell anyone. That he'd go and pick Kyle up himself, and take him home. He said not to bother telling you, or Ike, or anyone. He really hates Kyle right now, and wants to embarrass his sorry ass." she explained smiling a little. "I can't say I blame him, either."

"Oh." I said sitting down across from her. "Is that it?"

"Kenny-?"

"Da-da-da! Don't." I said knowing what she was about to ask. "Don't ask me, Bonnie, please. At this rate, I'll throw up in a few seconds. Please, just let me gather myself." I begged. "Please. If you're gonna ask me questions like that, let it be a little later in the morning."

"But Ken," she pressed. "You have to figure yourself out. I mean, this is… well, your life here. You can either put it back together with path A, or path B." she observed slyly. "This is as good a time as any to think about it." she muttered. "You're a strong kid, Kenny. You've pulled all-nighters before. So tiredness is no excuse."

"Will you take him back?" she asked after what seemed like ten hours of silence. Really, it was five minutes.

"I don't…" I stared. "I mean, I'm not sure." I muttered. "I'm, stuck."

Because it was true. I was stuck. The word couldn't have come at a more perfect time.

Stuck.

I could either, live like I'd been for the next lifetime, or try to piece back together everything that I once held dear. I thought about the trunk I'd given Stan. He'd burned all the things that had anything to do with Kyle. Practically half of my wardrobe, and my contents in my room.

Stuck. That's what lingered in my mind as I sat there, my hands sweating, and my mouth dry. What the hell was I going to do?

"Bonnie?" I asked a little softer than intended. "I… help."

"That's up to you, Kenneth." she said softly. "That's up to you. What happens now, is your decision, and yours alone. You can't pretend this isn't happening, like Kevin convinced you to do for the last couple years. You can't. You have to face it, no matter how much the pain hurts."

"Bonnie, do you realize," I said softly. "How badly this hurts? Kyle was my everything. He used to be my whole world, Bonnie. I'd do whatever for him. Whatever. And now, I can only face him as Mysterion, because Kenny would cry, and fall apart and wouldn't know what to do with himself."

"Kenny, if you take him back, I'll kill you myself." said a voice as Kevin came walking into the kitchen shirtless.

"Outside, you two." Bonnie said standing up quickly. "Kevin? Now." she said giving him the most icy glare I've ever seen. "Kenny? Now." she said lowly. "Out."

Bonnie must have some sort of super power. Soon, all three of us were outside. I had taken off my orange jacket, and let Kevin wear it, since I could see his bare chest. He pulled my hood up over his head, but his face still shown. Unlike the way it covered most of my own face.

"Kenny," Kevin said as he closed the door behind him. "If you take his fucking ass back, Kenny, I swear…."

"Kevin, you have no say in this." Bonnie said as she pulled us both farther off around the block. "You have no control."

"I don't care!" Kevin yelled so loudly, I think mom and dad managed to hear even now. "I don't give a flying fancy fuck! Kenny has been through hell the last five years, and he's finally fucking getting it all together!" Kevin yelled. "I love you, Kenny, and don't wanna see you so bent out of shape because of one person! But if one person can do that to you, then…" He stopped. "I can't see that! Do you know how many times you tried to kill yourself and succeeded in front of me? Kenny, if I witnessed one more suicide attempt, I was gonna fucking kill _my self!" he shouted shaking. "If you take his fucking ass back, Kenny, I swear!" he yelled. "Kenny?" At this point, Kevin started crying hard.

"This is too much." I said as my head began to pound. "You guys are opening up a whole new fucking scar that I just managed to sort of heal."

"No." Bonnie corrected. "You didn't heal it. You still feel this pain, Kenny. You're just not letting yourself. You still grieve for him, and you God Damn know it." she said simply. "Kenny, you have to decide before everything falls into a pattern you don't want it to."

"Kenny?" Kevin pressed.

"Shut up." I said simply. "Let me figure this out by myself. Please, you two. It's almost six in the morning. We've been awake practically all night. I'm… tired, I don't wanna deal with this particular topic, I'm so tired." I moaned. "I wanna go to my room."

"And what?" Bonnie asked. "Put on the Mysterion costume and face it like that?" she asked. "Kenny, look at yourself. You're falling apart already, and you don't even know it."

"Can you guys just please, leave me alone?" I asked as tears burned in my eyes. "Can I just please just go and think about this myself? Without you threatening to kill yourself, or you pressing me for an on the spot answer?" I begged. "Please! I'm not really feeling good."

"Fine." Kevin said as he wiped still streaming tears from his face. "But if you…" He stopped. "If you…" He couldn't speak. "Kenny." he said as he came and hugged me. "I just don't want you to be in pain, Ken."

I got back my jacket, and left the place. I headed for a walk around the block. My world was cleaved in two. The world with Kyle, and the world without.

The world with Kyle, consisted of happy, fairy tale-esque memories. Memories of love, passion, and desire. Memories of comfort. He was my whole world, and by the looks I got from his eyes practically twenty-four seven, I was his whole world, too. So, then, why had he left?

My world without him was a different story. At first, it consisted of nothing but pain. Depression, pain, terror, anguish, and some other thing I couldn't describe. I felt broken. I felt incomplete. As gay as Kenny McCormick has ever sounded, I felt incomplete. I felt torn. Broken, and alone. Yet, after the accident, or rather, incident, with Kevin, I felt numb. All the time, I felt numb. I didn't dare think about Kyle. I didn't let my mind wander to the memories he'd left behind. I didn't want to feel. It worked, since I was able to put my life back together slowly. I got a job, got my friends back, and most importantly, realized I'd been a complete mess. Then, his letters came. I read them, as Mysterion, because I felt I could resist him better that way. Resist, the urge to write back, the urge to find him, the urge to call the number he neatly printed on the page. Then, he became ill, or injured, and I had to leave and save him. Get him out of harm's way. Make sure he left the hospital with a clean bill of health. But I felt, numb about doing that. Because I was doing it as Mysterion. I kept a promise to Kyle, and I kept it well. I never went back on my word, and my word was to keep Kyle safe when I could help it. How could I not go and help him when I had gotten word that he was in danger? When I full well knew where and who was doing this to him? Now, I just felt like a blanket that was keeping me warm had been lifted off me, and the ice cold air was blowing around me again. As if my heart had been tender, and almost healed, and now, someone had accidentally touched me the wrong way, and it burst again. It hurt like hell.

Now, there was no way to avoid my soul. There was no way or nowhere to hide from my emotions. There were two ways to go. I could take the world without Kyle, and be the happiest person on earth. Not caring at all if that hurt him in anyway, shape or form. Or, it could be the opposite, and I'd be unhappy for the rest of my life. Wondering all the time, what would've happened if Kyle and I had just resumed what we had in the first place.

Yet, it was all the same on the other side of the scale. If I took him back, we could face? We could face a life time of unhappiness. It could be the most awkward thing in the world. Or, it could totally work out, and it could be just like before. My heart would always hold passion for the Semite. My body would always crave his, and want his.

How was I supposed to decide? How was I supposed to decide what to do? Either way, both options had terrifying risks. Both options could ruin Kyle's life. My life. Both options could result in happiness. The first one, taking Kyle back, resulting in the greater happiness. The second one, leaving him for lost, resulted in a different happiness. A happiness that maybe someday I could learn to accept, if I chose. But what was I going to choose? How?


	19. Four Brothers Talk

**Four Brothers Talk**

The 747 touched down at exactly two fifteen in the afternoon. The fiery haired youth walked off the plane, head bowed in silence. He walked out and into the waiting rooms, and spotted the figure he was looking for. The figure spotted him, and stood. He came over to the youth, and they stared for a while at the other's expression. The red head wore an expression of shyness. The blonde wore one of those smug expressions, almost as if trying to make the smaller red head feel intimidated. Well, it sure did work.

"Let's go claim your bags, shall we?" Kevin McCormick asked coldly.

Kyle gave him a nod as they both walked off. If it was Kenny, and if it was the old days, Kyle would've gladly slipped his hand into the crook of Kenny's arm and walked along beside him. But it wasn't, and doing that would only make Kevin feel awkward. Not to mention, Kyle feel strange as well.

It took them a little over fifteen minutes to make sure that the Semite had all his luggage. A little over six suit cases. The youth kept very good track of what he'd brought along with him. It didn't take long to load into the old dusty Chevy that Kevin had borrowed from his father to transport the Jew back to his familiar neighborhood.

The drive back home took a little over forty-five minutes. The silence was unbearable, but Kyle had no clue what to say. Neither did the older blonde as he drove on.

"So." Kevin finally breeched. "You get your driver's license?" he asked.

"Not really." Kyle said softly. "I felt lazy about it. I rode the buses all the time." Kyle said softly. "So, no, I didn't leave a car back there."

Despite his vow to be rude and immensely cold to the boy, Kevin found it hard. He would glance over at his brother's friend, and see those familiar curls, and those familiar sparkly green eyes looking back at him. Kyle would shy away when Kevin glanced at the boy. So, Kevin found himself interested in his passenger.

"How did it take you that long to get what most people manage to get in the space of six to eight years?" Kevin asked gently.

"I'm a nerd, Kevin." Kyle said simply. "I forgot all about electives and didn't swerve off my path. Not to mention the fact that I already had college credit from high school classes that I previously took."

"Very nice." Kevin said smiling gently back. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"I don't know." Kyle said truthfully. "I really can't say."

"How is everything?" he asked after a couple beats of silence.

"Well, do you want a sugar coated version of events, kid? Or do you want truth, honesty, and perhaps rudeness?" Kevin asked.

"Sugar coated." Kyle said simply. "You know, so I can deduce what's really happened."

"Well, everything's going fine." Kevin said fighting back the punch he wanted to throw at the youth sitting beside him. "Kenny's doing really good, and your family never even noticed your absence. Oh, and everyone thinks very highly of you." he added mocking the boy.

Kyle visibly flinched. "Okay, tell the truth, now, please." he muttered.

"In short, you tore my brother to shreds, you nearly killed your mother, and brother, and you drove the whole town insane, practically." Kevin said smirking rudely at the boy. "In short, though. I haven't even scratched the surface."

"So, I shouldn't have come home?" Kyle confirmed softly.

"Pretty much, yeah." Kevin said simply. "Yep."

"Kev?" Kyle questioned. "Do you… hate me?" he asked softly as they pulled into a gas station for gas. They were almost in the first surrounding county of South Park. Lynn Park.

Kevin turned to the boy as he rolled the window down with his other hand. He looked Kyle deep in his eyes as he thought. Did he hate him? He had caused the most severe pain in his brother, that Kevin has ever seen. He had ripped his family emotionally apart, and his best friend. Did Kevin hate him?

"No." Kevin found himself saying. "Kyle-."

"How much?" the man said walking up to his window.

"Fill it up." Kevin said routinely still keeping his eyes on the Jew. "Kyle," he continued as the man started pumping his gas. "I don't hate you." he said without thinking. "I hate, despise, and any other synonym for hate, what you have done. But you? No one could ever hate you, Kyle. Not even my own brother, who has vowed never to let you into his heart again."

"Kenny?" Kyle gasped as his eyes filled with tears. "I didn't realize-."

"No, Kyle." Kevin said as the man finished up. "Here you go." he muttered handing him a fifty.

"Have a good day." the man said briskly as he turned and left.

"You didn't realize." Kevin finished as he turned back to look at his passenger. "In the spur of the moment, in the decision you were caught up in, you didn't realize how fucking irrational and stupid your actions were."

He turned on the engine, and backed out of the station. Kyle was shamelessly crying in his seat now.

"Is he… okay?" Kyle asked sadly.

"You tell me." Kevin pressed. "When you saw him last, before you left, did he look okay to you?"

The last image came into the boy's mind as he remembered. Kenny's face had been bloody from contact with Kyle's angry fist, and palm. There had been a red mark starting up from the slap across the face. But other than that, Kenny looked, somehow, crest fallen. Defeated. Unsure where to go next.

"No." Kyle whispered barely heard through the roar of the antique truck. "Not really."

"And did he seem okay when you saw him in the hospital?" Kevin asked.

"No." Kyle said softly remembering Mysterion's bitterness towards him. However much Mysterion tried to hide it.

"Well, then, you just answered your own question." Kevin said simply.

"What do you think?" Kyle asked a little awkwardly.

… … … … …

Kevin left for the airport, as Kenny left for a place he hadn't visited in quite some time. He'd seen Ike in passing, or Kyle's mom and dad. But he'd never dared to return to the house after the Semite took flight. Now, he found himself headed straight for the house he'd so long forgotten. Hopefully, the boy's parents were not home. He gently knocked on the door. It opened within ten seconds. Almost as if the tall Canadian was waiting for him to call.

"Kenny." Ike said stepping forward.

"Ike." Kenny said as they both hugged. "How are things proceeding?" he asked trying to sound smart.

"They fine, homie." Ike said trying to sound… well, what was he trying to sound like?

"Come on in." Ike said smiling and pulling Kenny in with him. "The birth givers are away." he said pretending to smile glossily at his friend.

"Hey, I died during that time." Kenny said sighing.

"When didn't you die, Kenny?" Ike said sighing. "Come on, and take a seat."

"So, it's been a while." Kenny said simply as his throat filled up and clogged.

"Yeah." Ike said sitting beside the boy and laying a hand comfortingly on his shoulder. "You okay?"

"Your brother called my brother." Kenny informed through a knotted throat. "He's on his way back. Kevin just left to go get him."

"Wow." Ike said dropping his hand from Kenny's shoulder. "Wow. I need a drink."

"Ike Broflovski, you don't drink." Kenny said slapping his sort of step brother thing on the hand.

"Okay, maybe not." Ike said sighing. "But, whoa. And just… whoa."

"How do you feel about this?" Ike asked as his own feelings were pushed aside for the time being.

"I'm not sure."

Kenny told Ike what had happened before the Semite had left. He told Ike everything that had happened when the hero went and saved his fallen red head from the clutches of the Grim Reaper. He told Ike what had happened when Kyle wrote letters to him. What had happened when Bonnie and Kevin both got wind of the fact that Kenny may take Kyle back.

"Ken, he loves you." Ike said sadly. "I love you, too, but I love my brother as well. And know it or not, accept it or not, Kevin can never hate Kyle. Because no one can."

Ike was right. The boy hit the nail right on the head. No one could ever hate the small red head. Only Cartman, who was the evilest person on the planet. A practical reincarnate of Adolf Hitler himself. No one, if you really took time to see it our way, could ever hate the red headed Semite. Because. There didn't have to be a reason. Just simply, because. You can't ever hate Kyle, because.

"What do I do, Ike?" Kenny asked as tears slid down his face.

"Well, I'm not really the one to come to. I'm a smart book learner, not a smart emotion figure outer." he joked. "But in all seriousness, Ken. What do you think?" Ike pointed.

"I'm not sure. I don't really know, what to think. Things can never be the same. I mean, I feel too broken. Too tired. Too damn angry at my best friend." Kenny said as tears flooded his eyes. "I feel, sick, Ike." he moaned.

"Whatever you decide to do." Ike said simply. "Choose of your own accord, Kenny. Not because you see how sad, or hurt my brother is. This is your happiness, we're talking about. And my brother's. But he's fucked up, and you can't hide that."

So, Ike was bombarded by a story of the morning's events. How Kenny had whittled down his thoughts into something to try and work with. The two possibilities for each action. And Ike listened.

"You'll just have to do what you feel, Kenny. In the spur of the moment. I guess that's what led to everyone's unhappiness, now. But you have to do what you feel. Even if that means that Kyle may, or may not feel the same way. Either or." Ike said smartly.


	20. Operation Cannot Possibly fail

**Operation Can Not Possibly fail a Second time**

The pair pulled up to the drive. Kevin quickly turned off the engine, and they both got out. Kyle grabbed three bags, and Kevin loaded himself up with the rest. Kyle looked oddly over loaded with suit cases. Kevin couldn't help looking worriedly at the other boy. Kyle looked like he would tip over any moment as he hobbled his way over to his door. Kevin reached out and rang the bell.

The door opened a little bit afterward, and Ike stood in the frame. He smiled taking a couple bags from Kyle with great strength. He greeted Kevin warmly.

"How you guys been?" Ike asked as they all traipsed up to their room.

"Good." Kevin said simply as the bags were all set down on Kyle's old carpet.

"Ike-?" Kyle started.

"Is Kenny over there?" Ike asked concerned. "I haven't seen him in a bit. Kind of need my _Silence of the Lambs_ back."

"I'll let him know." Kevin said as he smiled at his brother's two friends. "I'll see you guys later. Bye."

"You're leaving already?" Kyle asked afraid to be alone in the house with his obviously angry brother.

"Yeah. I've got Bonnie waiting for me at my place, and I have to make sure Kenny's eaten. He tends to forget if you don't remind him." Kevin said truthfully.

Soon, both brothers were alone. Ike took one look at Kyle, and smirked rudely. He turned and walked out of his room.

"Ike?" Kyle gasped sadly. "Aren't you gonna say hi?"

"Nah." Ike said simply. "I mean, it's not like you've been gone for long. I have to go catch Philmore." Ike said coming over to the Semite with his hands in his jacket pockets. "We said we'd go shoot some hoops."

"May I come?" Kyle requested.

"Well, sure. I mean, you can't play with us, but you can come."

"Why?" Kyle said as they both left the house.

Ike told Kyle about the basketball tradition the kids of south Park had started up. It consisted of pretty much all the kids who had decided to stay in South Park, twenty-one and down. Kenny had been booted out after the seventh game. It was complicated to explain, because the chart was set up so if you lost certain rounds, you'd be thrown out. Kyle couldn't wait to see who all was at the courts.

"Ike, my brother!" Philmore shouted as Ike came running up to the crowd of kids. "Who's with you?"

"My brother. He just came back from NYU. So are we gonna play, or not?" he asked. "Where the fuck is Marley?"

The Goth who had been in Ike's kindergarten class came running out to them. He smiled as he clapped Ike on the back. "Sup?" he asked grinning. "So, who's playin', whose keepin' score?"

"I'll keep score." Kyle volunteered trying to be a part of it all.

"Well, Kyle, I'd love to let you." Ike said sighing. "But the truth is, bro, you wouldn't be able to do it. It's sort of complicated. You have to fill in this table. Kenny tried, and it almost killed him. His brain isn't that used to thinking."

It was like this for the poor Jew all day. He spotted people he knew, expecting them to greet him happily and ask about where he'd been. It was so not like he expected. It was awkward, and it felt strange to him. Because these were his friends. No one seemed to even give two shits about the fact that he'd been missing.

"Hey, Token? Over here!" Kyle yelled as he sat in the booth at the Village In.

The ebony skinned boy came walking up to him. He took a seat across from the Semite, and smiled.

"How you been, Kyle?" Token asked cheerfully. "Saw you at the courts earlier."

"Yeah. You didn't say hi." Kyle observed sadly.

"Sorry. Kind of busy. Basketball rocks. Hard. Anyway, still going to the cheap Denver Community college. Almost done with my transfer degree. Don't really know where to go next." Token sighed sadly. "Hope I can find a good place. Mom and dad are encouraging me to go to UCLA. Too far. Obviously, my grades were never Ivy League material. Like yours." he said smiling at the red head. "Anyway, better get going. Gonna go chill with Stan at his place. He's got a boat that we all like to sail at Starks Pond."

"How is he?" Kyle asked. "I heard he was engaged?"

"Yeah. Something happened to him, though. I'm not sure what. He sort of became really withdrawn, and put off his wedding. Someone really fucked up. I'm not sure if he got into a huge fight with Wendy, or what." Token said standing. "Anyway. I gotta go. Kenny's outside waiting for me."

Kyle stood, and walked outside with Token. He walked up to the car and saw Kenny through the driver's side window. Token waved as he climbed in. Kenny turned to him, and Token slammed the door. Kyle reached out to open his friend's door, but Kenny swerved right and drove away. Kyle stood stunned, with his hand in the air, his mouth agape.

"What the hell is wrong with everyone?" he muttered as he walked off to his place. His mom had to be home. She'd welcome him with loads of questions, and hugs, and kisses. Right? It was his mom. Kyle was her Buby. Her little Bubula.

"Oh, hello, Kyle." Gerald said as the red head burst into his house. "How you been?"

"Fine." Kyle said walking over and trying to embrace the older man.

Gerald caught his son in a grip, and pushed him back. He gently shook his son's hand, and smiled. "Glad to see you're back. Anyway, I'll be in the kitchen. Call you when dinner's ready."

"Is mom-?"

"She's in the kitchen." Gerald said as he walked off.

"Mom?" Kyle called as he walked behind his father. "Mom, I'm back."

"Oh." she said as she stood preparing the food for dinner. "Glad you're back, Kyle." she said flatly. "Go say hi to your brother, will you?"

What the fuck was going on? Why was everyone so distant with him? Why was everyone so fucking rude? No one was glad to see him! No one! He stopped noisily up stairs, and his brother's head poked out from his door.

"Kyle, don't be immature, man. Okay? If no one is talking to you, don't be a baby about it. You're the one who left." And with that, Ike slammed his door, and a lock was heard clicking.

Dinner was awkward. Being in the house with his family was awkward after that. So, he left, to try and go see if he could find Stan.

He walked up to his super best friend's house, and knocked on the door. The door opened, and a surprised Sharon poked her head out. She smiled politely. Not her usual greeting towards someone who she had known all his life.

"Hello, Kyle." she said smiling. "Come on in. Stan and the guys are upstairs in his room."

"Thanks?" Kyle said awkwardly as he walked in. "Shelly?" he asked.

"Shelly got married a year and a half ago. She moved out and is now living with her husband. They're actually doing quite good!" Sharon said as one of her familiar smiles replaced her awkward one.

Kyle walked up the stairs, and to the room he knew only too well. He knocked twice, and opened the door. Stan, Token, Kenny and Butters were all crowded into a single bean bag chair. Token, Stan, and Kenny were all leaning over the smaller blonde as he showed them something. By the sound of it, it was a game.

"See?" Butters said excitedly. "And all you do is feed 'em, and watch the school grow! It's so cool, because there's like so many levels! You can buy more later!" he exclaimed as he showed them the game.

"Dude, how does he find these things?" Stan asked not looking up.

"Hey, Kyle!" Butters said cheerfully. "Come over to us! Yuh gotta come see this new game I got!"

The boys all looked up and their heads turned as one to look at the miss fit standing in the frame. Kyle's eyes went from an unsurprised Token, to a passive Kenny, to a red faced Stan, to a very characteristically cheerful Butters who was holding his IPhone in his hands.

"Am I interrupting something?" Kyle asked confused.

"Yeah." Kenny said bitterly. "Actually, you are. This is our night, and we kinda can't afford to let another hopeless soul into the group. It's already too crowded, and none of us are Ivy status." he said rudely.

"Stan?" Kyle asked softly. "Stan?"

"Kyle." Stan said yawning. "How's things?" he asked as he collapsed on to the bed. "I'd offer you food, but it's all real sugar."

"On second thought," Kenny said standing. "Wanna doughnut, Kylee?"

The use of the once pet name stopped Kyle's heart. He could feel tears of home sick filling his eyes. Kenny's alto droned in the background.

"I think it would take three of these babies to kill you. Wanna find out?"

The whole gang burst into laughter. All accept Butters, who put his game away, and stood up.

"Now, fellas. That's not very nice. Kyle's our friend." Butters said. "I'm sure as heck angry at him, but he's safe, and he's here now, so get over it."

"It's okay, Butters." Kyle said smiling at his friend. "I kind of deserve it. See you guys later."

"Don't let the door hit your jewfro on your way out." Stan pressed. "Okay?"

"Right." Kyle said flatly as he pulled the door closed.

I'm not sure what happened, or why. But Kyle had trouble getting it to close all the way. So, he just gave up. He was about to leave, when the gang burst into peals of laughter.

"Did you see his face when you said you should find out how many dough nuts it took to kill him?" Stan snickered. "You made the poor little day walker cwy, Kenny!" he pouted as the group fell over laughing again. Kyle could see every figure through the crack in the door.

"Remember how I said Operation Can Not Possibly Fail To Piss Kyle off worked?" Kenny asked laughing.

"Is that the one where we all changed our numbers?" Token asked.

"Yeah. That one. Well," Kenny said gleefully. "Operation Can Not Possibly Fail A Second Time, worked even more." he said laughing a little. "Ignoring him really pissed him off this time."

The boys all burst into more laughter as Kyle started walking away. He just couldn't walk fast enough for his ears not to catch the next words.

"What you fellas are doing and what you made me do, is downright mean! You fellas are forgetting how much Kyle's helped us in the long run! Stan, he stayed up with you, and tutored your ass in math when I couldn't because I was too busy helping Token. Kenny, Kyle cared about you! Token, Kyle helped you get better at basketball! You guys is just mean!" Butters said as his voice cracked, and he began to cry.

Kenny gasped as he spotted his friend's tear streaming eyes. He reached out to try and comfort the blonde, but Butters pulled away.

"Don't touch me!" Butters sobbed.

"Don't cry, Butters!" Stan gasped. "Butters, please! Kyle just needs to see the error of his ways. What he did was selfish, and… Dude!" he said averting his gaze to Kenny. "Why the hell did he do it?" he asked. "This doesn't make sense."

"He's Kyle!" Kenny grumbled. "Kyle never made sense."

Butters stood up and left the room still sobbing. "Way to go, you guys." Token said sadly. "You made Leo cry."


	21. The Three Stragglers

**The Three Stragglers**

I didn't know what to do. I felt lost. I felt like I'd rather go back to NYU and deal with millions of Cartmans, than to be back at my place. I walked around the block for a while, wondering what the hell I was supposed to do. What was happening?

Okay, so maybe I had fucked up. Maybe I did hurt my friends badly when I left. It's not like I died. It's not like if I got in trouble Mysterion couldn't come save me. He did, and I escaped. So shouldn't they be glad to see me after what happened to me in NYU? Why were they all bitter to me all of a sudden?

"Kyle?" A very sad cracky voice sounded.

I turned around, and saw that Butters was walking over to me. He came up to me, and hugged me. "Hey, pal." he said through his tears. "I'm really glad to see you."

"Right." I said realizing my own face was wet. "Right. Of course you are."

"I am!" Butters pleaded. "I heard about what Eric did to you, and I'm so glad Mysterion went to save you." Butters said sadly. "Really, Kyle. I am."

"Why?" I asked as my tears fell on to the boy's shoulders. "Why are you all being so mean to me? How come all of you are treating me like this?"

"Because, Kyle." a lady said as she came walking out of the shadows. "Because they feel it necessary to teach you a lesson. Although, you shouldn't blame Butters."

Kevin's wife came walking over to us. She was wearing a thick snow jacket and thick gloves. She seemed a little out of place, but she walked over to us, and hugged us each in turn.

"Calm down, Leopold." she said simply. "The guys will realize they should quit being bastards, and come around."

"What the hell is going on?" I asked. "Why are they all being fucking assholes?"

"Because like Bonnie already said." Butters said sadly. "You really messed up when you left without taking the time to consider what would happen if you did."

"Than why are you still here?" I asked looking over at him.

"Well," Butters looked a little ashamed. "Aw, gee. I'm a dork, ain't I, Bonnie." he said sadly. "Aw."

"No, Leopold." Bonnie said laughing as she leaned over and kissed his cheek. "You're not a dork. Kyle, he's here because he's Butters. And Butters, Kevin and I saw no reason to include ourselves in their juvenile game. When they decide they've taken all their anger out on you, they'll greet you warmly, and come around again." Bonnie said simply. "Right now, is just… not a good time."

"Right." I said as tears still fell from my eyes. "See you both later."

"Good night." Bonnie said smiling at me. "Come on, Leopold. You can walk me home. Tell me about your new game."

I smiled to myself as the pair walked cheerfully home. I could hear Butters's suprano going on as he explained the game to Bonnie.


	22. Monologue

**Monologue**

Have you ever been so completely in love, that your whole world literally revolves around the person who you love? I have. I am. Have you ever been so in love, that whenever your crush or soon to be lover smiles at you, you stop breathing entirely? Their smile is the brightest and stands out so clearly in the crowd, that you literally fall apart whenever they smile at you. If ever there came a day that your lover's blood was spilled, you'd do anything to protect, to shield. If they cried, you'd cry with them. You would do anything they asked.

I have. I am. I have been so madly in love that it became to the point of an obsession. So madly and truly in love with my angel, that it became something of an addiction. I needed him to be. I needed him to breathe, to keep going. I fell so in love, that when the day came that he finally let go of me, I shattered. I fell apart, and broke, and could never be put back together the same way again. Even by him, once he returned. My life had fallen apart again. My dreams were full of the smell of Strawberries. My dreams were full of the feel of soft flesh. The feel of a trembling body against my own as his body shook with passion. My dreams were empty at times. I wished I could reach out to anyone. Just to ask. Have any of you ever been in love like this, and am I immature? Am I really this dumb? Or is this emotion supposed to be like this? Because no one seemed to understand the extent of the damage. No one. Deep down, not even myself.

I felt like I was being choked to death by my own pain. But as is my custom, I always wake the next day. No matter what I did. Alcohol poisoning, gunshot wounds. Anything. Nothing worked. I was back. I was in pain. I was miserable. And my angel was so near, and so close. And I was bitter to him, and cold to him. I was rude, and I watched from afar as tears filled his sparkling green pools of brightness. I watched as he wandered around for some kind of explanation as to why this was happening. I myself wondered what was going on with me. If I was so in love, then wouldn't it just be simple to just run to him, hug him, and take him back? No. Something kept me from it, and I wasn't sure what it was. It felt like my once fragile heart, was reshattered again when he stepped back into the city limits.

Memories come flooding back to me as I lay on my bed, clutching the bottle of wine to my chest. I couldn't believe he was here again, and I was so close. Yet, I couldn't touch him. Has this ever happened to you? Someone, please, tell me that I'm not going insane. Has this ever happened?

I cried. I cried until I became sick. I walked into my bathroom, and tried to take a shower. My head swimming, my body trembling. I laid down on the bathtub floor, and I closed my eyes. I could feel the shower jet spraying into my face. I was drowning. Drowning in the water. Everything went black.

I still love him. I wake up the next day hoping that my body has cleansed itself of the feeling. I still love him. I still care. He better still care. Should I take him back? Does anyone have my answer? My life could go four ways with my love, and my happiness. Four fucking excruciatingly painful ways. But hey, I love him. I'd do anything to keep him with me. But if he didn't want to be here, by my side, I was not going to force him. Because when you love someone, you go out of your way to put them first. To make them happy. And if that means your happiness comes along with them, and you two live happily, then great. If not, well, what the hell was I going to do if not? What? Have you ever been in love?

What would you do if you suddenly lost your other half? My Kyle! My angel! My beautiful red headed Jew. I needed him. I could not breathe without him. I need to feel him, see him. To smell the sweet scent of strawberries in his hair. The scent of honey on his breath. I needed to die. My emotions didn't make sense to me anymore.

Please, someone help. Tell me I'm not alone. Tell me Kyle will come back to me. Tell me that this time, this will be my final death.

Have you ever been in love?

**Author's Note:**

I cannot post until I have some oppinions here. Even from one person. Should Kenny and Kyle get back together? Does Kyle suffer? Or do we get some I'mGladYou'reAliveAndBackInMyArmsSex going?


	23. I Guess You Could Call It an Apology

**I Guess You Could Call It An Apology**

They say a human has the ability to reason, to think, to dominate. That's what sets us apart from other animals. A human has the ability to realize when things have gone just to the point of anguish, and should be taken and toned down a notch. I saw my brother go through several stages over the next week and a half. He became sad, lost, confused. Mom and dad and I treated him friendly enough. He became very distant. None of us pressed him for information. We just left him alone. The way he had left us. Kyle didn't really understand what was going on, and to be honest, neither did I.

What got really tiring, was the crying. I could hear my brother crying in the next room. The walls were thin. I could hear him sobbing, and calling out for… Kenny. Not Mysterion, Kenny. He called for us to be forgiving, and to treat him like we did when we were all normally having a good time before he decided to up and leave. So, on the third day of the second week of his arrival, I called all the people who needed to be here, to my place. I took my mother's antidepressants, and flushed them all down the toilet. She didn't need that kind of thing, she was my mom. She was a fucking fighter. Not a zombie.

My whole living room was crowded. Stan, Wendy, Butters, Mysterion, Dad, Mom, and I. More people came in a little later, but they don't matter. Everyone just wanted to know why Kyle Broflovski had really fucked up. And we were about to get our answer. The door to the house opened, and Kyle came walking in. He had really puffy red eyes, and looked like he'd been jumped.

"Who beat you up?" I asked confused.

"No one." he said softly. "What's going on?" he asked.

"We want answers." Stan said bitterly as he tried to keep the tears from filling his eyes. Oh, too late.

"Kyle," Butters started off calmly. "We love you." he said as a sob rose out of his throat and he started to cry. "And, w-we just want you to know, that we're h-here for you!" he sobbed.

"All you need to do, in exchange for a little less cold shouldering," I said looking over at him. "Is tell us why the hell you did what you did."

"You wanna know why I did what I did?" he asked softly. "Really, Ike? You wanna know? Because I felt trapped.

"You guys were treating me as if I was fragile. As if I could do nothing for myself. As if everything that passed by me was after me, and one of you always had to be there to protect me from it. I felt like I needed to go and explore the possibilities on my own. I needed to be alone, and see what it was like to fight my-!"

"I still fought your battles for you." Mysterion interrupted lowly as he looked over at Kyle from behind my mom's seat. He was standing with his hands on my mom's shoulders. "I still flew my tired ass to save yours, Kyle. I still fought your battles for you. So, instead of causing so much mishap, and making your family go through all this mess, you could've just told everyone ahead of time, and they would've accepted. Trust me. That's what friends and family do." he said simply. "When you love someone, you go out of your way to make their happiness come first. And what makes you happy, would've made all of your family happy. They would've learned to work with you, and make this so much less painful. Now, you're here, and we're all here, and I know you went to Bonnie, and she told you everything." Mysterion said, a faint smile in his voice.

"Kyle, do you know, foyst off, how badly you behaved, young man?"

Tears filled my eyes. My mom's voice wasn't flat, and distant. It was loud, and familiar. I had my mom back. I tried this theory, and tested it out.

"Yeah, Kyle. You behaved badly. Almost bad enough to call you a boner biting fucking bitch."

"What what what!" my mom yelled turning to me. "You watch yuh mouth, young man!" she shouted.

Dad and I locked gazes, and I smiled at him as he grinned back at me.

"I'm sorry." Kyle said as his own eyes filled with tears. "I really am. You guys fucked up, too. You all changed your numbers, and then, I overheard Kenny telling you all that it was a plan. That you all had done it just to piss me off. To make me feel like I was left alone."

"But you weren't left alone, sport." Kevin said smirking at the red head. "Bonnie and I unwillingly stayed behind. Because we still love you. No matter how much you hurt my brother."

"And let me tell you, Kyle!" my mom said angrily. "You hoyt Kenny bad! You have no idea how much you hoyt yuh friend."

"I'm sorry." Kyle whispered looking directly at Mysterion. "I'm, really, sorry."

"Kyle, don't." I said bitterly. "We didn't come to hear that. We came to hear the reason why you left. This could've been done in such a different way!"

"Yeah." Stan said simply. "I owe my fiancé big time, for you. I wanted you to be my best man, and I put off our wedding, hoping to find you and get married with you at my side."

"Kyle, you drove your mother to a psychiatrist." Dad said speaking up for the first time. "Not to mention, made Kenny kill himself dozens of times."

"Are still making him kill himself dozens of times." Bonnie spoke.

My gaze went up to Mysterion's eyes, and I didn't see any emotion coming from him. Damn, that dude was good.

There was silence for a bit, before Stan got up. He walked over to my brother, and hugged him. They both broke down as they hugged. This took a little over fifteen minutes. My brother being smothered and hugged by almost everyone in the room. I saw Mysterion slip out into the stair case, and watched him go upstairs. I got up and left, as well.

I walked into my room to find him opening my window. He turned over and looked at me.

"You have no fucking idea," he said in a low gruff tone. "How I feel right now."

"I don't." I agreed. "You're right."

"I will be back soon, Ike." he said with a smile in his deep voice. "Bye."

I watched as he jumped gracefully out of my window, and left.


	24. Always

**Always**

"May I please stay over?" I asked simply as I stared at the couple in front of me.

"Sure, Mysterion." Sheila said smiling kindly at me. "You aw welcome to stay ovuh. I'm sure Kyle would love the company."

It had been a month since his apology type thing. Ever since then, Kyle had stayed away from me, and Stan. He'd found comfort in his books, I guess. He felt like he deserved it, and I'm glad he was man enough to admit that this was wrong. I smiled and thanked the Broflovskis, and left. I walked up stairs, and knocked on Kyle's bedroom door. There was no answer. I knocked again, and there was no answer. I pushed open the door, and I walked in.

Kyle was lying on his bed, asleep. He had headphones in, and I realized why he couldn't hear me. I closed his door quietly, and got out of my Mysterion suit, and into a pair of regular jeans, and my white T. I pulled on my orange jacket, and pulled my hood over my head. I closed my eyes as I sat down on the bed beside him. He had one arm out on the bed beside him, almost as if hoping someone would crawl in beside him and hold him tight. His palm was up turned, almost as if waiting for the hand that fits it perfectly to fall into it. And so it did. I reached down and took my Semite's hand in mine. My heart nearly stopped at the shock. I'm not sure how much time passed.

I felt Kyle's hand twitch in mine, and I looked over at him. He let out a gasp.

"Kenny?" he whispered. "Kenny?"

Tears filled his beautiful eyes as he began to cry silently. I bent down and my head fell to rest on his shoulder. "What did you expect, Kyle?" I whispered softly. "Mysterion? Is that who you wanted?"

"N-no!" he stuttered as he tried not to sob too loud. "Kenny?" he croaked. "Am I dreaming?" he asked a little confused.

"Let's find out."

I grabbed a curl and pulled firmly. He winced, and I smiled.

"I guess not, huh?" I asked simply.

"I guess not." Kyle replied as more tears filled his eyes.

There was so much that needed to be said. So much that we both needed to make the other understand. Yet, there was just no way to put any of it into words. And if there was, it sure as hell wasn't hitting either of us. Because we were just silent. Kyle was the first one to break it.

"Kenny, I'm so sorry." he sobbed. "I… I know… it wasn't right." he said softly. "I just felt…."

I pulled off my orange jacket after letting go of the boy's hand. I quickly took off my jeans, so I was only in my T. I gently climbed in, and my body brushed against the Jew's.

My eyes flooded with tears, and I felt my face burn. I felt fire running through me as I turned to pull the covers over us. I wrapped us up tight, and pulled the trembling Semite into my arms. I buried my face into his neck, and I cried softly with him as we both lay there. Yet, it wasn't the same. The burning only lasted a while, before the passion faded. I felt okay, though. Not heart broken. But I could've sworn in the silence of the night, I heard the youth beside me sob, and his heart snapped in two.

"I love you, Kenny." he sobbed. "I really do!"

I smiled, and turned to him. I gently pressed a kiss into his lips, and smiled.

"I love you, too, Kyle." I said smiling gently at him. "Always."

And with that, I took my body back from his, and got dressed. I smiled down at the broken Semite, and gently pressed another shattering kiss into his cheek.

"I will always love you." I said simply.

"Come back!" Kyle sobbed as I grabbed my things, and opened his window. Kyle began to cry freely as I gracefully sailed out into the cold snowy air.

Kyle Broflovski had shattered me. Had broken me in the most painful way. I felt strangely peaceful, though, as I headed back to my home, and walked in. Kyle was another part of my life. And maybe, if he would've stayed, things would be so very different. So different indeed. Maybe, we would be able to resume. However, given the current situation, I would say not. Kyle _really had to earn his friends, and my love, back. But for now, I was free. Mysterion would help, if he ever needed to. Kenny would always love Kyle. Just, not in that way. I smiled to myself as a lesson hit me. Love is not always a fairy tale. In a way, I'm glad this happened. Because I got to bond with Kevin, and realize, Kyle was not the only thing I lived for. No matter how much it seems, at the time. I will always love him, though.

**Author's Note:**

Thanks to all who stuck with me on this one. It was extremely tiring, and I feel relieved to be done with it. Albeit a little clumsily, but it's workable. The action seemed to be rushed, but I'm practicing how to make it so I get better at it. Sorry Cartman couldn't be killed. Thanks for reading, reviewing, and being honest with what you thought. See you guys for the next one. Hopefully a lot more captivating. Contains Buttery goodness.


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